HolidayS!

So sorry was not updating this blog for such a long time. Was only posting on the other blog i had. LOL!
I started my holiday on 2nd December. Went to Damai on 7th. XD I went with my cousins. My parents didn't come. So it was like... wah, only us "children" XD!!!
No photo taken T_T sad sad...
Anyway, i still recall, after i came home on 8th, i on Maplesea and Train FULL DAY! Up quite a lot of levelS! LOL!
After that, was quite full of dinners. Had my uncle's on 10th (if i didn't remember wrong), went to my mum's office Annual dinner on 19th, and got some that i can't remember that date. Was like eating eating eating!!! LOL!!!
Sometimes, Chris may come to Kuching and find me to go around "lepak lepak" with him. LOL! Everytime go out with him sure spend quite an amount. =.='''
Then only recently, the Alvins find me. LOL! They are both named Alvin, only different sir name. XD so i called them The Alvins! XD
Boring holiday. No much of a travel. Just stay at home, play games. Anyway... School is starting soon. 2009!!!!
so quick! and what i achieve? don't ask. ==!
Haha!
Think i stop here. LOL!
For now~ XD

I saw You...

Saturday... Today was suppose to be home immediately after school. But my dad called and tell me that i had to wait... And at them same time... Chris came to Kuching to find us for some FUN. So... i told my dad not to come fetch me as i will go home later.
We went to The Spring. A Mega-Mart. I was not thinking about anything else... and Daniel was so happy about buying himself a MP3. So, we followed. I was feeling alone when he was looking for the MP3 while i just look around... I saw... i saw someone who look alike her. Yes... but i am certain. i am wrong. Because there is difference. But that make me think of her... That reminds me how much i miss her... i really do... i am stupid. Very stupid to let go. But it was a good choice. I am no longer the one who was so competence. Now i am useless. Without any courage... filled with competency... It is now out of the topic for me. Even i look down on myself now. There is no future with me. So i had to let go... Brush myself up before i wanna go to her again...
Deep inside... i still wish... i still hope... i can see you... But just from afar. I don't want you to see me now in this stat... i am weak and useless now...
After Daniel got his MP3, we went to the cafeteria for lunch. I had a quick lunch... and Chris say he wants more... so we go to Sugarbun. =.='''
That time, i was still ok... very happy indeed... because the gang was so funny that i forget all my worries...
Until i saw you again...
This time... for real... it is you...
thank GOD... i really saw you... it is really you... you had become prettier. Yes... you did... the moment i saw you... there is an urge to go forward to say hi... but i dare not move... and dare not approach... i even hide... HIDE!
COWARD!!!
=.=''' i damn myself... i really damn myself at that moment... cause i lost the chance of talking to her. i really miss you... now i see you... i dare no go to you... my heart sink... it is already in the bottom of the sea... but... i was sad... sorrow... yet happy... the feelings is like so annoying... happy + sad... it make one crazy...
u left... you left... i thought i cannot see you again...
So... stop brooding over the emotions of happy + sad... i join in their childish and funny chat again. But the mood is no longer there... i was already some where else... my soul is lost...
Yes... soul is lost...
Something that i believe... Fate... Destiny...
i saw you... God give me what i want...
And... he gave me more...
you appear just in front of me... that time... i am... shocked... stunned... and... i don't know what to do... a feel so sorry... so so sorry... i don't know why...
but i feel happy... so so happy that i wanted to hug you. But that is impossible. i dare not do that anymore...
i am not me... not the me i am before... i am now weak... weaker than anything.......

But did manage to bring out the last few breathe of courage... attempted to talk to you. Since you had saw me... i need to talk. We said hi... and i was hoping to say more... but was always hiding. Me... running away! A short hi... and a simple good bye...
i don't hear her voice... because it was so noisy there... but i can feel her thoughts. i see her smile... ^^ i am happy to see that. yet i feel sad... because i m not the one anymore... i give this up myself... A good bye i didn't say... just wave my hand...
Then thats it... bye bye...
i saw you... and i left... thats it...
...
...

I'm missing you like breathing air

I don't know why... i was thinking about you whole morning. Today is Friday... Yes... a Friday. Usually a Friday is a day i like quite much. But today... there's a seminar this morning. So i have to wake up early. And oddly... i wake up on my own. I think had a dream... Yes... i did had a dream. But i was not able to remember what is happening. And i woke up.
I didn't start to miss you until after the Seminar. Because, after the seminar, i walk at Sarawak Plaza... Tun Jugah... And here comes... my memory... They rush in... and i can see you in me. Feels like illusion is playing in front of my eyes. And i had been quiet all along. Trying to forget... Trying not to think. And good thing... my mum was cleaning the house... i was helping. Was busy helping... keep myself as busy as possible... so that i will not think. Yes... it did help...
But when i clean up my room... i saw the things. The items... It came to me... all came to me... Even the ticket for the movie that we had for the first time we date... was still with me... i wonder why i kept it... All came back to me... i see everything again... But still... i manage to throw it into the rubbish bin. I am not good. I am not prepared. I am not the best. But i will try to be the best of me... before i come back for you. I am selfish... I don't want you to burden me up. I am even evil, to let you go and hurt you... Yes... i am bad... I am sorry... But i will try to make up to u... No... is make up to myself... Because... my dream consist of you. Without you in it... it is not a dream anymore. It is not my future anymore... or should i look for a new future???
Not yet... No! i will not give up so easily. Where is the Zechs last time who is not going to give up easily? Who is always prepared for battle? I'm missing you... i'm missing you...

Stupidity...

I had done something stupid again... Yes... Stupid... Maybe it is not only stupid... it is bad. Maybe it is because i miss her so badly that i again... go into the friendster profile to look for her... and even... worst... i log in her msn to see her mail. SO BAD! I AM SO BAD! man... How am i going to get over this!!!
Why? already 1 month+... Still like that. Can go die... no mood... This moody problem will cost me... And games. Duh!!! I am so into gaming nowadays that i totally ignore my studies... SO terrible of me!!! why become like that? Ever since we broke up... i was unable to do what i intended to... It become worst... Seems like i had make a wrong decision...
My stupidity had cost me. I think i can let u go... and concentrate better. But no... backfired... i even got even worst. Indulge myself in games... At start was to release stress... then... seems like it never work... keep getting more and more into it... to get some sort of happiness... short term happiness...
My heart really ache once in a while. But never will i cry. Maybe cause i had sunk my heart into the deep... but it hurts. Now... it hurts...
What to do? Nothing. What must i do? Solve this... How? THINK!!!

DurianS!

This SPECIAL piece is for~
The DURIAN DINNER!
Monday! 20th October 2008!

i was having lunch... just soup and rice. LOL... I didn't expect much for dinner... But 5pm, when my dad came home... he called me to go down help carry some durians up. Ok... maybe he lazy carry. or maybe he cannot carry all. So i go down lo...
When i go down... i saw the car bonnet was full of Durians!!! =.='''
OMG! 13 in total. BIG ONE SOME MORE!
I like Durians anyway. XD So... Tonight sure is eat durian lo. Just didn't think that it will be my dinner. LOL!
Then after carry the Durians up, i go bathe... so heavy u know... And spiky! Got problem carry "them" up.
When my mum came home... i asked what's for dinner... she answer... Durians of course. LOL!!!
No rice... No soup... No vege... NO MEAT!!! =.=''' Durians...
Think i don't need to talk much. LOL! My mouth sure stinks now. XD
But i still like Durians despite the smell. Hehe...
Of course, didn't eat all of it. So full after just eating 2. Of course whole family eat together la. In total we cracked 6 Durians. =.=''' 4 people take 6. PRO lei~ hehe...
Ok la... This is all for the Durian dinner... i feel a bit hungry now... no meat... bei tahan!
haha! Just joking. Maybe go cook maggie mee. hehe. 2am lo... still eat... XD
Anyway... maybe sleep then no need to eat. Good Nights! XD

The Evolution~

I went to the barber today. XD
That should say the whole picture. I changed my hair style. Of course, i make it big changes so that it will be more significant and more "noticeable". LOL!!! Joking... Just Cut my hair short short. Thats all.
It is not that i wanted to forget anything... It is just that i wanted to cut it short so that it is more simple for me to manage it. Since it is short, there is no need for much "make-up" to do. XD
Anyway, i don't like to spend a lot of time on "making-up" as well... So~ time consuming.
It was quite rush anyway... Only around 3 something then my dad called me and ask me whether i want to go to the barber or not. Of course i wanted to!!! LOL!!! Hair so long already. So... i went...
Forget to mention...
I think i saw her today. Just after the haircut... Maybe she went to Pei Chen's house. Today is Friday what... But of course... It may not be the right one. I might see wrongly... But i think it is true... LOL!!! Anyway... It is not a mistake to miss someone. Right? ^^
Ok... lets just call it an end here first... Will update when i feel like updating. XD Need to go to class too... 6 already...

All comes around, goes around~

Time is passing by fast. Really fast. That time wa considering whether or not to take the exam. But now, i am worrying how to face the exam. >.<
I had enrolled for 2 papers. F4, Law paper and F6, Tax paper. These 2 are the only 2 papers that i have some little confidence in taking. Hmm... I suppose u guys will ask why ACCA student, Accountants study law? This question may not be an easy one. Because i also don't understand why? Hahaha!!!
But anyway, it is good to study Law... I did find it quite interesting as it is fun. At least u can gain some law knowledge. Good when u go to the community. Good when you go out to work. Hahaha... I am now in school, using some of my extra time before class to type this... So it is like quite a rush... Since i never update my blog for quite some time, i may need to update it now. I just visited Rachel's Blog. Hehe... Oh Rach~ i can see that you are also quite busy with your life too. XD Good thing. Go on girl!
Hahaha!!!
I had my own problems to confront. And of course i will try my best to face it. I will stand up again. Face everything that comes. It may not be easy, but i will try my best. ^^ I had faced even harder one last time, now, should not be a big problem.

Updates~
Lately was only focusing on the other blog. I will be blogging every night at 12am just for that blog cause that is the only time when a new day started. Was quite packed lately, as the class is getting more and more intense, and the assignment was tedious. Anyway, did manage to complete it in 1 night of time. XD
The so called insane is still insane. That's me. XD
I choose to sacrifice sleep for assignment. Of course, i can also choose to sacrifice gaming time for assignment, but gaming time is like gold. XD So thats why, i feel really tired lately. My dreams...
hmm... Was not happy to have dreams. But anyway, i will take it. Just got one this morning... But just a few seconds. I feel happy though. Don't know why... Just feel happy to see her... LOL!!!

Anyway, i cannot remember what happen after awaken.

Time to go now... ^^ See ya Peacecraft Kingdom!

A dream...

Today morning, i woke up in ... tears... =.='''
Why? Because i dream of her. So... odd... it was back in time... when in secondary school... but the situation is still the same as now... we was in the same class... she was just sitting a row next to me... with her friends... i wanted to look at her... but i was afraid to look at her if she is sad... but, i over heard, she is really angry... she is complaining to her friend that i break my promise... i don't wanted to... i am also very sad for this...
Since i feel very miserable sitting there... i changed class. But without notifying the teacher... during recess, i pack my bag and go to C class... ( i was in A class)... I downgrade myself... ... ... going to a class which is more like a weaker class... i still remember i said something very... childish... "i only do what i wanted to do!" He was speechless when i say this... i was so... sad and miserable after listening to what she said... because i feel sad too... i feel that i am useless... i cannot handle our relationship and my study at the same time... so... after a few minutes in class... i again packed my bag and run off the class. Suddenly feeling dizzy and totally without strength... Since there is always a small period to swap class... i walk away from school... =.=''' i am already not normal already... i NEVER DO SUCH A THING!!!! =.=''' i am ready feeling big disgrace and totally shameful of this act... I actually ran away from problems...
Then... while i was going off... she and her gang was following me... she asked her friend to get me a pack of tissue. @@
It was opened... and... feel a bit odd. It contains tissue of course, and a few rm5 and rm10 notes... suppose it was a total of rm 25 or 30... i don't understand what that means... but i was bad... i keep walking off... i never look back, i never stop... was giddy on the way and i do feel that i was not able to walk in straight line... =.='''
But... i was left alone... after i am out of the school compound... ... ...
Alone...
I just don't understand... what is that money for? is it that our relationship only worth this much??? or is it that you are still being caring, worried about me, asking me to go to a doctor? i feel sad though... no matter whichever is the answer... i feel sad...
Wake up in tears... i cannot forget what just happened... 12 noon now... i slept until 12 noon... it was just like the time during secondary study hours, on Friday, our class until around 12 noon...
... speechless...

I created a new blog, specially for her...

I had started a new blog, just for her... That blog will be my diary, starting on the day we break up... It has already been 11 days...
But anyway, i will still stand to my promise. ^^
I suppose u guys may not be able to see me blogging here frequently anymore... but i will still update special events in my life on this blog. Stay connected. Thxs to all who care~

24th September 2008

... Time has come... i had failed to stand to my promise.
On this date, we broke up.
But i think she will be more free this way, will not be tied up by me... and i also freed my own soul... and my worn out heart... Now, i can sealed my own heart, and throw it deep into the sea so i can focus absolutely on my study. I feel selfish... but i must do this... i am sorry... i have no idea how she feel now... maybe she is more happy this way... because i feel that she is not very happy with me... i am not a good man... she will get a better guy than me...
Maybe should also stop talking about her and also stop thinking about her already... Since already break up, i should not care so much anymore... LOLS!!!
So... now, it is time to focus. Lecturers has been giving me bad comment... F4 asked me to read and do more questions, F5 says i am not good enough now to go to exam, F6... more worse... she said i sure fail... Don't worry my lecturers, i am no normal being, i am insane... insane are not predictable. If i failed to reach your standards, i will end my life. I use my own life to promise this, i, Mr.Chung Lian Kiat, will take F4, F5, F6 exam in December 2008 none the less. If i fall below par even until November, i will risk my own gaming hours and 2 hours of sleep for further improvements. Please do not tempt me to become insane. Because i will do anything, and i really mean ANYTHING just to reach my goal...

Again... another night without any sms... i am really tired... i am really hurt... it is already 2.30 in the morning and i am still wide awake... I need to make things right... sadness will haunt me until we make things clear... It is really tiring... really tiring...
If this keeps on... i will be destroyed... yes... leave me alone...
Leave me Alone...
I am already Alone...
... Stop hurting me anymore ...
My kingdom has become ripped with sorrow... Despair...

Guess who's here?
The Immortal Peacecraft King is here! =.='''
Ever wonder why i locate the "immortal" word in front of my name? No idea huh? Haha... Suppose no one will know. Then... Let me tell you a story of a boy. Who is insane... Who is unsound...
It started one day, when the sky turn dark and he was alone at home. Alone at home... He had no people around him... Solitude binds him. As his largest fear is to be left behind, he feel like he fall into absolute darkness. Without hope... Where is everybody when i need them? Where???
Odd thing... His tear never came out... He feel sad... yet not sad... he feel... i wonder if he even feel... Yes. He do feel. What that makes him without tears, maybe caused by his past injury. He swore never to drop any tears for others ever again. =.='''
SO... This is a promise... that now become a curse to him... bounded by remorseless heart, yet... may pity the weak and still understand morale. Odd thing... This unsaid sadness had bring him to another level of humanity. Humanity? @@
Immortal does not has humanity... anyway... This only come, when the rain pour down heavily... his heart sank... Its time to let go of his heart.
But yet... He is heartless... How to let go when do not have one?
How?
So... This terror haunted him... days and days... nights and nights... he become more and more evil day by day. Solitude binds him... making him more chaotic and short-tempered.
I BEAR NOT THE SADNESS OF SOLITUDE CAUSE THEY ARE WITHIN ME!
This guy is insane... He had choose... solitude. Wonder why... So here comes immortality. Immortality cannot be achieved by any human... Of course... not so true... But... i will make it real. But i do not choose to live... i choose immortal death! Clearly said again... IMMORTAL DEATH! understand?
I do wonder where will i go to when i die... i really do... Christian will say... go to heaven. Other religion has their own heaven... Do you believe? I have no idea... Seeing is believing... this is more real to me. LOLS!!! anyway... i do believe... After life. . .
Anyway... Since i wanted immortal death... i don't wanted to exist at all... then, how can this be achieved? No one tell me this... =.='''
Supposed no religion can tell me this... NO ONE CAN! BECAUSE NO ONE HAD KNOWN OF IMMORTAL DEATH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
U know... human is really selfish. They wanted to exist... wanted to let people know they are alive. At least, they wanted to know they are alive. LOLS!!! This feeling of existing give them enthusiasm to keep on surviving. This is what makes their survival instinct. =.='''
People say those who can survive long is because they have great survival instinct... i say... NO! They are selfish people who wanted their life. =.=''' Since life is a gift from God, of course you must treasure it...
Give you a scenario...
God created man, man gifted with life, man died, man go to heaven...
something missing~~~ God created man, man live, given a heart, feel all the pain n happiness that is forever not forever(short and mortal), tortured by sickness, tortured by wrath of Nature, tortured by death itself... then bring us to heaven and become angel... =.='''
Eh... Why need the process of man!!? WHY!!!? purposely to see human feel the pain? Are They MAD?!!! Why don't just create angels? =.=''' Create man do what? perform movie give YOU see ar? DAMN!!! Blaming God? I am not blaming the Almighty... i am just complaining... telling HIM to stop create more Man to suffer. =.='''
Mortals~ argh~ They are more insane than i am. Why do you want to exist anyway? Who is the real idiot, mortals? WHO? go to heaven, then again, how you know when u in heaven you will be without worries? =.=''' Stupid LIFE! STUPID earth.. Everything STUPID~
Wah~ who say~~~ look at the bright side... everything happen must be good... Everything happen must got reason... Why want to happen anyway... Nothing happen... more better. XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX... (sorry, it is censored)
Anyway... lets stop the crap... get on with it. =.='''

i remember i read an article~
It was a grandma's story. Her view towards life really amaze me. Spectacular!!! Marvelous!!!
What i can't forget is...
Do not reminisce what is sad when nightfall, cause it will only make things worst.
Let the sunshine bring you a new day.
Eat what you grow, wear what you affort, that makes life more meaningful.
...
Meaningful eh? Haahaha!!! Lets call it a night then... It is already 2 in the morning. =.='''

Something Stupid i done! LOLS!!! Try it~

What Zechschungliankiat Means

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Parting...

Hello again my Kingdom. I don't come here only when i feel sad, i come here also when i feel happy... i come... to share my happiness... and to voice out what i dare not say... LoLS... some type of life. =.='''
Parting... Why this title? any idea why?
Let me say it out ba... It is... my relationship with my dear... oh boy... i feel that we are even further apart now... should i work harder on the relationship or should i give up? I don't feel like giving up... because i can't bear with it... i can't lost her. :'-(
I can't imagine also my life without her... although... she is now like... not around me already... haih... So bek chek...
Why do Love exist? =.='''
Maybe... i am thinking too much again. Let don't think too much ba... Let time decide upon my fate. i believe God has done everything. My fate, my destiny, my life... Since it is fated =.= why care? live happily lo... don care what happen, even if i am to die tomorrow, let it be happy until the last breathe. . .
=.='''
sounds like i am going to die soon.... LOLS!!!
anyway, make it more simple... happy also 1 day... not happy also 1 day... happy also breathe, not happy also breathe... happy also eat, not happy also eat... now tummy a bit pain... don't know why... =.='''
Don't care la... Let it be. Wake up in the morning sure ok liaw. XD
Zechs! Wake up! I need you now. You had slept long enough. Danville should go back to his tomb now, Luke will be back to his gate and X is taking over the control here. =.=''' so hate...
X X go away, don't come close me any day... SHOOEEEE~~~~~~~~~~
LoLs... talking to myself again... Some people say, it is a type of way to release stress. This may be the way for me. hahaha! Life is always so peculiar. No matter you like it or not, you also have to go through it. Zechs! JIAYOU LO!

Miss Me now or Miss me Not?

Hello Peacecraft Kingdom... The King is back again... It has been some time since i left this place. For a moment, i think i know everything... for real... i know nothing. Do you know what happen after that day? When is that day??? Suppose to be 1st of September... I am being childish enough... lack of sleep every night because of missing her. And you know what i did? i really feel regret... i hacked into her friendster profile. I saw her message box... Can't resist to take a look inside... And... sad... even more sad... i saw many things that i do not hope to see... the outside looks clear but the inside break me even more... I feel... Do not even know what to feel then...
But you know? i still dare not ask her... Because i fear i might loss her... For a second thought... i maybe already lost her, yet, i still want to keep it. Such a damn fool. So how? What to do... just take it lo... Maybe they just chat chat only ma... No big deal one. Don't have to feel bad for it. WAKAKAKA!!!
Ok... Maybe should switch a bit of mind set... I should think more positive. Anyway, i had tried my best... even i sometimes feels that i am not a good man.
So... cannot do anything le... Let her decide ba... She will dump me when she wants to. I just do my best. What else can i do? Who asked me to love her more than myself? >.<'''
Miss me now? or miss me not? I never asked... i never know... i can always pretend right? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pretend to know she miss me. So i can feel happy.
So why feel sad? Get on with my normal life, live it nicely... she will feel sad also if she knows i can't sleep well, i can't eat well. ^^
hehe... happy happy...

Happy?

Today exam... She also today exam... what a coincidence...
You know, i got an exam today... Guess what am i doing yesterday... Going for F4(Law) and then play games after that... no study... Where got people like that one... no need study... exam liaw still don't want to study...
But i know what am i doing... So... morning wake up a bit blur blur. But did manage to focus on the papers. F5(Performance Management) after a fail game of GG Dota. KNS one. The host disconnect. No choice lo... What to do...
I read like, just 10 minutes, then my mum called... Are you ready? =.=''' Then i realised, it is already 11am. OMG!!! i sleep so long! Wasted so many time. @@
So, i quickly go brush and wash... Prepare to go to school. But, my bro just came back la... Need to wait him also... so i continue to read some more... i suppose i finish reading chapter one only. Life Cycle Costing... =.='''
But already time to go...
So how? Abandon liaw lo... Go eat then go school liaw lo... Reach school at around 1pm. Thought can study some more. But, so far apart from what i think, all friends are gathered in MIT lab. =.=''' Do what there? Playing some stupid flash game. As a gamer, i just can't resist the seduction of the game. LOLS!!!
As a result... stuck there watching them play game liaw. So pro all. They also didn't study. =.='''
130pm, go into class. Exam starts right away. Then how? i find that the questions are quite simple. So i attempt the questions lo. So bad! Essay questions took like more than 50%. @@
After the first question(Calculation), satisfied, as i can do it... starts with the essay question. LOLS... just answering one took me an hour. =.='''
So tired after 1 question. Lucky only 4 questions in total. So, i did finished 2 questions up til now. Approaximately 1.5 question. LOLS. Cause the second question... the other half i don't know how to answer... =.='''
So i skip d lo... 4pm already. Not enough time!!! got 2 more question!!! Die lo!!! How?
3rd question... Essay again... =.=''' SKIP!
4th. Haha... calculation. So happy. I try it... and manage to answer it. LoLs... didn't even think much. Just do it. Wahaha. I can do it. Got the answer... and tada... 5pm. a total of 3 questions i had answered... to be more accurate, i answer approaximately 2.5 questions only. =.='''
and what happen... Guess what... i feel happy @@
Cause i know how to do... LOLS!!!
Reach home... had my dinner... feel something fishy about the exam just now... So i refer back to the notes and exercise given by the lecturer... =.='''
SHOCKED til death...
...
...
...
I had done wrong the last question. =.=''' still so happy some more... Should be throughput accounting method... i use linear programming method... =.='''
Die lo...
Do wrong...
Sure fail. LOLS!!! Simple equation. Please try to do it.
(2.5 questions - 1 question = ? ) =.='''
And each question worth 25 marks. Mostly i can get how many marks?
The passing mark is 50%.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy? Very happy lo~
Do wrong still there so happy. =.=''' This guy is insane. . .

1st of September

As i was saying... Failure to sleep at night has become a nightmare to me, so, i decide to go to a one day trip with my friend, Daniel. As i fear i might be alone there, so i drag Phang along with me. Hehe...
I think i haven't mention about the Trinity Church friends before in this Blog. So i think i will need to intro a few of them that had came across my life and help me... quite a lot already oh. ^^ Many thanks to them. And God Bless.
As i can't fall asleep, i finally did closed my eyes on 5am in the morning. Woke up at around 6am... Walk around the house, preparing the items needed in the trip. As i was being told, we are going to Matang Wildlife Centre. So, pack cloth and drinks... and a pen. =.= Daniel asked me to do so... Don't know what is he up to...
So, 7++, (Julie) Feng Feng called. She is the organiser of this trip oh. And... i know her in MYFgroup. She is a nice girl oh. hehe... Of course, she is like a big sister to me. ^^
Then, get into the car... meet a cool guy. hehe... i never meet him before oh. He is (An1 Sun4) Chinese name. At first, i don't know him well. But, in the trip, i get to know him... and i find him really a nice guy too.
Lets do the intro at the end...
They bring me to Trinity first... Then all gather there, had our breakfast there, then start the journey to Matang. As the Van is full, we had to follow private transportation. Daniel, Yun Qii, Phang and me followed Nicholas. Another cute guy. Hahaha... Why i say cute? Because he is so humorous that almost anything that came out from his mouth can become a joke... scary right? HaHaHa~
So, on the way, we are talking about Dota... Nice thing, we got a topic to chat about, if not, (the whole journey took us 1 hour!!!) and 1 hour of quietness in the car... woo... that will be terrible... At first... i just kept quiet... and... sooner, when i find a chance to talk, i start to join into the chat. Quite nice. ^^
When we finally reach there, already 10. @@ late... 830 starts, 10 then reach. A total of 90 minutes. So funny. He is just driving at 60 kilometers per hour. Yet, they say he is too fast. XD
So So... When reach there, all settle up at the lobby. I think there are 40+ people going in this trip. Although i didn't know all of them, but, i did make some new friends there. We are devided into 4 groups. Daniel was in charge of the games. Say is Daniel la, but the one who is playing the important role to prepare the game is Feng Feng. Responsibility must have come first to her. @@
We started off with visiting the "Zoo". As Daniel and Feng Feng didn't go(the only few from Trinity that i know), i decided to stay there and help out. So funny... GM, as we called him, stay with us as well. His name is actually Heng Da. A handsome guy with music talent. Woo... if say i am a girl, sure attracted to him. Wakaka! joking joking.
We discuss about the game that will be played later... As we are talking about the games, we give oppinions. GM gave a very very nice oppinion oh.. i really accepted it. Guess what... we play~ (ku lo ku ki) a game played when we were young. It is like chasing game, 1 person as the chaser and the rest will become runner. Those who got caught will become the next chaser. haha... Childish enough. But of course, rejected by the organizer. XD
Then, i say play A-E-I-O-U. A game also played when we are young. Of course, rejected again. XD
So, we just laughed all the way. But i do think it will be fun to play those childish game again oh. So long never play already. The bad thing about growing up, never get to play children game anymore. T_T sad sad...
They all came back to the lobby around 1130 i think. We moved our "base camp" to the river after all had finish exploring the "Zoo". Phang follow them visit the "Zoo". haha. It actually become~ i left him alone~. LoLs~ But anyway, i can see he had a nice time too.
So, when we reach the Matang River, we again, divide into groups. We first starts with introducing ourself in group. Let see if i remember them...
Leader is of course An Sun, then memebers are Qin Ling, Daniel, Jeffry, Si Zhen, Zheng Cong, Yi Yun, Xiao Feng... ZzZzZ... i forget another 2's name... so bad oh me...
Anyway, during intro, that Si Zhen, when we are asking about personality, he say, he is naive and cute... =.='''
WOW!!! SO DAMN FUNNY. You know, he is a big size guy, even more old than me, say... i am naive and cute... speechless... The whole group laugh, as the other heard of it, they all laughed too. LoLs.
Bla Bla Bla... Blu Blu Blu... intro done.
So, start with the game. Of course, i didn't find the game actually fun, but had a nice time. Haha... Recognizing hair. So impossible... LoLs...
Then, next is playing act dead. Then become CSI, draw out the look of the dead person. LoL...
Then... Play a very lame game.. =.='''
The game organizer will called out, "Who has the longest...?"
Then groups will have to discuss what is the organizer asking, and send out someone to compete. LoLs... We collected 0 points for that. i think is because we don't have anyone with special look. LoLS!!!
Then, finally, last game. Passing water balloon with music(by guitar), when music stops, the holder of the balloon will be chosen. LoL. Lucky me. Not chosen.
Those who are chosen, will be wet~ WAKAKA!!! so damn lucky.
Then, we go play water in the river. HeHe~ Happy time. Too bad, i forget to bring pants... =.=''' so i cannot play too far in the water.
So, after playing awhile in the water, me and Daniel decided to go to walk in the Zoo. LoLs... Phang did not play in the water as he is... Don't know why. hahaha~
So, we 3 people(Me Daniel & Phang) go have a walk in the forest... Zoo... so called. XD
Wow... So tiring. So long the journey in the zoo... tiring. Good thing though, cause i am able to sleep well that night. haha... Finally i can sleep.
Nice...
So, after that, we are on our journey home. I feel so tired after the trip... i fall asleep a lot of time on the way home. LoLs... So paiseh. An Sun was the one who fetch me home as he is also going home after that. They are still going for dinner. LoLs... so envy their spirit. Still so full of energy. Anyway, i do have a nice time on this date.
Besides, when i reached home, my dad asked me to bathe and get ready as we will be going out for Dinner too. @@
Wow~~~
I had a splendid dinner. Can't forget the taste of baked prawn with cheese and cod fish. yum yum.
Hehe... after that, we went back home. I go to bed directly after brushing my teeth... @@
Must have gain some weight as i sleep after meal. LoLS!!!
So... A sleep until 9am this morning. Also consider a good night sleep already. ^^
Thank God... I can have a good night sleep.

...

Pathetic Mortals! Tell me!!! What is more painful!!!?
Being Dump by you spouse;
or in a relation with someone who don't care about you?
Curse of immortality is so damn torturing...
...
...
...
I had lost my sleep because of her...
I had lost my mind because of her...
What the Hell is happening now!!!
I wanted to know... I wanted to know...
...
...
...
Sleepless... Sorrow... Despair...
Loneliness... Solitude... Fear...
I feel so alone now...
But my Soul is against me...
My tears is GONE ...
And i had failed to cry.
What is sadness without tears?
...
...
...

My Feeling...

It has been a week already. I am still feeling down and lonely. I feel... sad. My insomnia is not cured. Ever since that day, i am like unable to sleep early. That day... that day is when???
Seems like it has been weeks that i never had a good night sleep. I feel so distress... It is not that i wanted to sleep late... It is just that my mind is not in the mood to sleep... I am waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting for what? Waiting for her message before going to bed. Because, i always hope that she will sleep early, and to know that, i had asked her send me a message before bed. Yet, for a week, no message received. Sad... Yet, i waited every night. From 10pm, i reached home after class, until 11pm, i started a game of DOTA with my bro... until 12am, my bro gone to bed... until 1am, i start browsing the web reading on stupid topics and dreams and mostly browsing in medical sites... LoLs... and yet... no message until 3am... Every night, it become like a practice. I do it every night... And until now... i feel, sad... and down.
She did told me that she will be busy lately. Yes. I understand. I never asked her to accompany me. I only wished for a good night from her every night. Yet... i waited n waited... Nothing came.
Why like that?
A message take how many time to type? 1 minute? 2 minute?
such few minutes also cannot spend for me?
Sad? Disappointed?
I don't know... I feel like crying every night. Since the day i got this... Insomnia... But who knows? No one... I never tell anyone about this... Because i think that they can't help me anyway... Only i can help myself... And maybe she can help... but... she never cares... just told me... "this is bad for health... don do it again... try to sleep early." And just for a day, then vanish in thin air.
I don't know what is happening... i don't know... People says i tend to think too much... Yes... May be right. But ever know what i experience before? I got betrayed by my best friend and the one i trusted with all my heart... and i got hurt deeply... of course, i still fear such thing will happen to me... who want to feel the same pain twice? nobody~
Why ?
I also don't know why. Is it that she is telling me she is quitting? Just that she is too good and she fear to tell me cause she thinks i may be hurt? if it is so, i rather know then to suffer like this... People encourage me to quit... some ask me to be patient... to me, i will stand... hang on. because i believe in her. I believe she will not do that to me. She will not hurt me like the last one would. Because i believe...
Or am i just being childish?
But i don't care.. i choose to believe... So as to that, i will wait.
As for the consequences, i had choose to face it... no matter what is it. Good or bad... I will just face it.
Please... Stop torturing me... I don't want this to continue like this anymore... I will die even faster this way...
As for what is happening now...
crying... is helpless. DO u know i can't even cry even when i feel miserably sad? So damn miserable!!! Sad yet can't cry... where can like that? Then how can i vent out my sadness and my anger? i can't shout out loud, i can't laugh out from my heart... and if this is like what is happening, am i lost?
Did i lost my personality? my emotions?
I feel... lonely...
Alone...
Bounded by solitude...
Tied up... helpless...
Why is this solitude haunt me?
Who knows... But... If i feel free in solitude... I believe, that will be the time i break up with her...
Who will feel free in solitude and loneliness? Hahaha~ Of course, must be someone who has chosen to be alone for their life.
I know, i might not be suitable to have another half. But i am trying my best. Trying my very best to be a good one. I take up ACCA, because i trust that this can give me a good pay in the future. And i am building my future, with her in it... and if she left, then why am i being so tired out taking my ACCA so damn fast? Pushing for 3 subjects one go... That's insane. Teachers has gave advice that it is not reasonable to take 3 papers. Of course, there is people that can do it. But, being an ordinary person, taking 3 papers is very heavy a burden... Yet, why i m forcing myself to bear it???
Sad again... heart feel pain, feel sour... yet... tears never drop. don even feel my eyes wet...
Why am i doing this? For my future's sack. I want to have a better life up ahead. I want to build our future... They told me, it is impossible to earn 1 million by just working before 30 years old. But i am trying to prove that wrong! WRONG! i can earn, Invest, earn, invest... ACCA, of course, it is an accounting and financing course. I can learn to invest well! WHY? i see a bright future up ahead... yet...
Ever wonder why you work and study so hard for???
To give ourselve a better future. Right?
Yes... ok... let say i got 1 billion, and i lost all my family and all my friends and i don't have love ones left on this world... tell me... U still want your 1 billion or u want your loved ones back?
Which one do u choose?
You worked so hard, earning so much, for your loved ones... for your family... for them to have a better life. If u lost all of them, is there any meaning left to earn and work so hard???
Simply, no~
It will be just enough to life up to your own par.
Earn what u need. Necessary need only. Don't have to work so hard anymore~
no... no need...
Everyone plays an important role in someone's life. and of course, in your own life.
But... what? What to do? It is always too late to realize what is happening... until you had lost it, then you start to treasure what you lost.
I lost... i found... i treasure...
So... That will be why... i keep holding on... because i don't want to regret my choice. And most important. I believe.
I BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DO BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I REALLY DO...

LoveStory

Love story... Ahahaha~ Just the title i myself felt blurred.
Guess why i wanted to write this post?
Hehe... supposed everyone can't guess why. Even i don't understand why...
It was yesterday, i was bored out at home... So i decided to sort out the DVD that were piling up on the TV. ( My bro and my Dad don't keep the disc after watching it, sometimes is really annoying. ) So, i decided to tidy it up... But, while arranging it halfway, i saw a DVD... it is a drama... Forgotten the name, but is Hong Kong drama... So, since i am bored, i decided to turn on the TV and watch it. LOLS... i don't watch drama much... This is like out of the blue... XD
It is... LoLs... The start was nice... it is about a love story... Let me address the guy as A and the girl as B. A and B had a nice time together, but due to some economic crisis, B's family decided to leave and go to another place. So, A and B are forced to part. Funny thing is... They still post letters to each other. Even until the day they die... Their grandchildren, took up their last letter... and decided to look up each other... A's grandchild, a, looked up B's grandchild, b. So... This 2 youngster... being very... "rude", they opened their grandparents' letters. Oh, by the way, A and B are seperated, and they have no idea who died first... lols... and, being such a coincidence, they 2 died almost at the same time... a and b read thier letters, knowing what happened to their grandparents... so touching...
THE END~
Unbelievable... Where got drama so short one??? so i fast forward... =.=
U know what... i just found out that this DVD is a series of Love story... I stop watching on the 3rd. As it is too... sad... i feel rather sad and agitated while watching the 3rd one. LoLs...
The guy was so nice to his GF, yet, she wanted to try to find whether he is having another affair with other girl. She hired a detective, more like a spy, to spy on her bf... he is so nice a guy, he got the kind heart, that he help almost everyone that needed help. He is almost perfect... Yet, she still can't believe that he is so good. LoLs... This one, makes me feels like, a guy being too good is bad. LOLS... She kept on spying him... hoping he will one day make a mistake, so she can break up with him... =.=''' like this also can HO? ANGRY~ SAD... My emotions was like triggered... i feel a sudden crash of personality... so... haven't even finished the 3rd series, i off it. LOLS...
I would like to know, what is love?
Many people claim that they know... I questioned their knowledge of Love. It is just not possible to understand Love so easily. I think me myself is totally blurred... I had a GF. But, i feel, i am not doing what i am supposed to do; i am not doing what i must do...
Sadly, if i keep on figuring this problem out, i will break down again. That is for sure. So, it is always better for me to just let it be. Time will tell me what is what. Right? ^^

I Graduated CAT!!!

~~HHHhhhOOooRRrraAaAyYYy~~
~Congratulate me!!! Haha~
It was supposed to be yesterday, i woke up in the morning, worrying that it will be the day my result came out. But as usual, as now is my bro's holiday, he ask me to play games with him. So~ we had some game... As i told myself, if i failed any of the papers, i will quit games. That is a God DAMN promise i made. A gamer like me, making such a promise is like sending myself to hell... LOLS...
Anyway, Later around 12... my friend, Daniel, SmSed me and told me that the result is now release. So... i hesitated... Thinking, should i go for it now or watch it later or tomorrow. But, my curiosity urge me to look right away. Sooo~~~~ i keyed in my ACCA id and password...
heartbeat time...
TADA~~~ I passed 3 papers. Although is not high marks, 6x, 6x and 5x... i still feel happy. U know, just able to pass is a relief to me. I was so worried i will fail back then. Why? Because, my paper 10, that is getting only 50, is really bad. i Had a hard time doing it in the examination hall that time. LOLS... lucky~ i passed it. And lucky, 10 marks above... if take it again this December, will also just passed. Cause i heard, now the standard had increased to 50 marks to just pass. LOLS... Lucky me... Hahaha... happy happy... i am now a CAT graduate. ^^
Congratulations to me... ^^
Watching the result at home do had a little disappointment... Nobody gratz me. But it is ok... ^^
ok now... Need to get off... Although passed CAT, now got ACCA to handle... it is a lot more harder. Gambateh neh!

Fallen Sick

What a bad day... I had fallen sick. Under the weather...
so headache now... yet, my sleep is so... horrible. Last night was such a torture. The nose is killing me. And my throat is painful. + headache some more. Lucky, i had some pills before i sleep. So my flu now is better. But, anyway, my sleep was, i don't think i slept last night. Haunted by nightmares, i feel like as if i was at my grave. So scared. SO wish morning can come soon. So i can wake up. Blur all night, wake up with a severe headache that even makes me feel like screaming. So damn pain... And now, i feel my heart is weak... i need to put in some effort just to breathe. Wow... some sort of sickness. I hope it is just a small flu, so i can get well soon. My body is still high in temperature... wonder if i can go to class tonight???
So fear i will faint halfway...
But, i think i can do it. Tomorrow got class again... 2 classes some more... Don't know i can handle it or not...
But no matter what, i will try my best. Result is coming soon... Just pray and hope that everything will be just fine...
...Every time i cough, my head hurt. So torturing...
Hope i can get well soon...

Words Can be Poisonous than Food

Last night was bad. A really bad night. My friends came down from Bau... Ah jin, Ah Hee, we go for some snacks after my class. Daniel follows as well. Then, we decide to go play game at cyber cafe. LoLs... some type of fun. It was already 10++ then. We called Sidney whether he wanted to follow or not... As usual, he say yes. XD That is like amlost impossible he will say no. Hahaha...
So, we reach there, Daniel says he don't want to play Dota... So... we play CS then. Playing CS was ok... But when Sidney arrive, his friend in CC(Cyber Cafe) ask whether we want to play a friendly match or not??? So... we think it is ok... Even if we lose... LOLS... so we accept. Bad thing... those guys are hooligans. =.='''
We had the upper hand... and thanks to my big mouth, i was so carried away in the game, i keep talking. I don't think i said anything bad, didn't say they are noob, didn't say anything bad at all... and they starts scolding. =.=''' I had nothing to say... 1 word may decribe it all. COWARD.
You know what happen? They starts scolding... and even wanted to started a fight. =.='''
Oh My God... Fighting... That's childs play. Never grew up...
Oh ya... so, we quickly end the game... Win it... Then we leave... He banged the table, then start asking who is using "lycanthrope"(a hero of Dota, i was using it) They must have been furious as they didn't get the chance to get a kill of me. Where as i killed his hero a lot. XD
So, i kept quiet, let him "bark" there. Paid, then leave. XD
We had a drink after that. LoLs... he called Sidney and ask him to tell us to be careful next time. LOLS!!! Who do he think he is??? The Government? Killer? OR GOD? Man~ Hooligans...
Better stay away from this freak. Unable to accept defeat. But anyway, better don't care about it. Result is gonna come soon. XD So just hope and pray that result will be nice. ^^
And... I had a feeling, since what happened last night, i think i need to refrain my words and the way i talk. =.=''' My friends may be able to handle the needle, but outsiders may feel it a thread. So... =x I will refrain.
By the way, i have a feeling of quitting Dota. Know why?
Dota brings many bad thing to the people.
Firstly, friends may become enemy because of Dota.
Secondly, couple may break up because of Dota.
Thirdly, mood may become bad becuase of Dota.
Fourthly, ones mind may become contaminated by Dota.
... There is just too many bad things about Dota. haih~

10% Happiness, 20% anger, 30% sadness and 40% distress

I hate my life!
But i won't blame God or anyone for whatever is happening...
I am happy!
Because everything happen is making me grow.
I am angry!
Because everyone that i care is forgetting me.
I am sad!
Because i feel it is my mistake that people i care is forgetting my existence.
I am distress!
Because i HATE MY LIFE!
Sleepless... for weeks. And every morning i wake up, i feel a slight headache. I feel nausea. Feel like throwing up. This thing has continued for like weeks. It all begin with the nightmares. Now... nightmare is gone but sleepless, insomnia is here. Why like that?
Joint pain is hitting me everyday. I am getting old...
Or is it just that my blood circulation is having problem?
Too many questions are playing in my head.
I always thought i am stronger than before. A lot more stronger. But no. I am still the same. Weak. Seems like i just healed myself from the injury i suffered years ago. I did not actually become stronger from it. Fear...
I still dreaded betrayal. Still worry about betrayal. My soul is still weak, unable to receive another blow of betrayal.
But i learned to trust. Because i had no choice. I have to keep trusting. Just be more careful every time i trust.
Because i want others to have trust in me. The law of nature is like this, i still believe equivalent trade.
Even the word "Believe" has a lie in the middle. So what is true?
It is torture...

Damn DAMN DAMN!!!

Sleepless... Is really giving me a crap. It has been days... i don't have a good night sleep. I am tired of this. Frustrated... Who knows i am facing insomnia now? =.=''' Those who are reading... I never tell anyone about my sleeplessness... Cause... i don't think they can help me. No one can. I am the only one that can help myself. But how? last nite... I force myself to sleep. Everything seems to like going against me lately... I sure feel a bit stress... just don't talk about relationship stuff... my study work is piled up! i have much things to attend to. And i yet has started to read. You know, i have 0 confidence about my course now. =.=''' Don't say 0 confidence... even 0 interest... man... the world is turning upside down...
Who cares? i care... IT IS MY LIFE MAN!!! OF COZ I CARE! duh~
Grief... Despair~
Why such distress? Lets cheer up and get on with it. Since the day you choose to start this game, you have to play along. No matter you like it or not, just play along. When the time is right, everything will be fine. So, hang on.
God is being really good to me. He gave me challenges. He gave me feelings. He gave me wisdom. Of coz, i will not consider myself as wise... yet. wakakakaka!!! But at least, i do think that i have faced quite some troublesome ups and downs that makes me age fast enough that worn my mental "youngness" out quickly. =.='''
I am still young! XD so... should quit thinking too much and do what i want. right?
That should be a true statement. However, humans are born with responsibility. So... being carefree... is kinda bad. LoLs... or is it just for me la..
anyway... i had crapped alot... but at least... feel better... writing maybe a good cure for me though. hahaa... thats all for now... my mind is terribly sick... =.='''

Night Terror !!!

Nightmares!
Damn those Nightmares... It has been days... my good night sleep is now spoiled. I don't have a sleep without nightmares for days. So tired of it. I have no choice but to read some articles about Nightmares to cure myself.
I find myself... suffering nightmares... these... are cruel. They take away my sleep. I told my friends about it. They think i am joking. =.=''' Some even say i must have done something bad. I can swear. I didn't. Why is this happening to me? WHY? What did i do wrong to suffer like this? but i don't feel sad about it. NO! i am not. I did get myself into reading more n more articles. Gaining more knowledge than before. It do helps me. LoLs... so i am thanking Nightmares now... hahaha...
Anyway... I really hope these night terrors can stop. My life will be ruined... Or should i just learn to live with it. As i learn of nightmares as a sign of inner sight. Something i can learn from nightmares. Something important that can help improve my life. Yes. I did find certain website that decode your dreams. Unfortunately, they are kinda accurate. A bit scary when i read. LOLS. Cause it is so damn true. =.='''
It is now almost 2 in the morning... And i am still here... not having my sleep. Why? Perhaps i am under stress.. perhaps i am thinking too much... perhaps i am a coward, running away from these nightmares, running away from facing my true self. Sad~
Yet... Who knows of my sadness? Who cares?!!!
But this is my problem. NO ONE HAS TO CARE! NO ONE CAN CARE... no one... T_T
I feel lonely in the night. Night is a curse. No wonder everyone goes to bed at night. Staying up all night gives you no good. It is always best to get some sleep at night.
But i will not give up. Standing alone... It is ok. Alone alone la! Cause loneliness has become my truthful friend. Hahahaha. I acknowledge him. He is always here with me. Never leave me. Never once. I only didn't notice that he is here with me when i got friends around. But when they leave, he is still here. See how faithful is he! Never leave me~ So touched.
Hahahaha~ But sadly, my eyes never gets wet since... i forgotten. This cold blooded creature that lives in me is now so free. =.=''' So damn free. Remember i gave him a name... ?? What is it again? Dark? Doom? I don't care anyway. Dark will do... Luke is not around... Dark is roaming free... Zechs is tired out... And the evil one, Alexander =.=''' he is contaiminating my mind. CLK CLK~ Time to wake up! Stop this insanity in playing in your mind...

Challenged!

I was tempted. An urge to fight back. A challenge came to me. Damn myself! Damn! I really hate it. I have yet to face challenge ever since... or is it that i gave up myself to run away from challenges... But, yet again... Now... once again, the fire of retaliation is burning within. This is a challenge i will take on. Madam Tan, my F6 lecturer. Her words are sharp, it may not be harmful to my classmates, as for me, i feel humiliated. A start of battle again. "The left-handed are supposed to be more clever( i am a left-handed), but it seems to me that it is not true..." That, i believe, madam Tan does not imply it on me. But i do feel the shot. It pains. It trigger my emotions. I feel challenged!
This is just the start... and again, it has been quite some time i never accept challenges... i think i had forgotten the feeling of being challenged, the feeling of anger. Now, my anger boils. It is time to let the inferno out. I need to unleash the strength of anger, distress and agony. Damn these negative power is so damn strong now. I feel like exploding. It is time to show them my power. These negative power has been stored long enough to have a great amount of impact! But it is great. Something has come to me. A challenge that is, i accept it! Wait and see my true colors.
The silence of Anger has now came to wrath. I cannot stop the fire now. Lucky... still able to stick my fingers on the keyboard and not spoiling it.
Time to say bye bye. Until my negative power is over, i will have problem controlling my emotions! It is recommended to stay away from me... SO... LONELINESS! HELLO AGAIN! WAHAHAHAHA! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

Life Cycle

LoLs... This is certainly an issue to the living. Or should be more specific, mortals. Everyone will face this, life cycle thingy. Don't say, we are already in it. For example, we are born, grew up, mature, old, sick then die. =.= lame ... Who can run away from this life cycle thing?
Ok... talking about life cycle. It is a topic in my F5. Man... F5...
Life cycle costing. The product life cycle. First, development. Research and development will be done in this stage. Then comes introduction. The product will be going through massive advertising as it is out in the market. Big expenses... After that will be Growth. In this stage, the product's sales will grow. The company will start to makes profit out from it. The cost incurred before will be covered. Following Growth will be Maturity. The product is now having stable sales and have net profit. This is when the company gains from the product. Of course, everything will come to an end. So here come decline, the final stage. Of course, the mangement will to lengthen the time period of maturity, keep the product in the market. But anyway, it will eventually comes to an end. So... that will be goodbye. XD
Don't you find this thing almost the same as human life? Not only human life, it is also the life of all beings. Even trees grow and die in time. Time, the most cruel fate of human. Every human are bounded by time. We will die one day. But what we had done will be left behind. I like shakespeares' creation. Why? Don't you feel that he is a great man? He can make life and death so concrete. Words came to life. Even death becomes words, become "alive". Forget to mention, he kept his beloved beauty until now. Lasting for hundreds of years. He makes things immortal.
Life cycle, time... they took him away. But not his soul. Life cycle is cruel. Hahaha... But ever wonder, if one become immortal, living too long, perhaps 200 years of time, is it worth as much as the life of shakespeares? i doubted so. If he didn't make any commitment to the world, or just himself, his time of living in this world will become worthless.
I should stop comparing a made up person... let just put myself into the comparing work... =.='''
For example... i have yet to do anything that can make someone remember me to the time they die. I have yet to make the world remember my name. But i did do something. I write my thoughts here. At least, i may live as long as this blog is to read by people. But why care anyway? To live to be known by the people... I believe those who are in war, the soldiers who gave their life to protect the country, they are not remember. But those who only use their mouth... (examples are not shown as it will not be a good thing to do... people may think i m a critic) They earn their position. They earn their fame but they did not do much sacrifice to the world... so who cares anyway. What important is how much u think your life worth. Man... Headache... It is not a good thing to think too much of stuff...
So... Do what you must. Do what you think is correct. Everyone have their own perception. So there is no need of much thoughts of how others look at you. What important is how you look at yourself. Confidence is important! lols.
I'm getting out of topic. LOLS. Let' come back to LC. Life cycle. =.=''' Headache la... Think i'll stop here for now. Catch up to where i stopped next time. XD

The Game Started. . .

Ever since school started, i hardly play games. Umm... Not hardly. Just reduce a lot. Not games actually, can say touching the computer. LoLs... And of course, blogging. How can i forget? hehe... So, today i finished up all my piled up homework and come blogging again. Hmm... Many things did came to my mind. I was intending to write it back then. But my lazy bone keep me off the keyboard. Hahaha... The game started...
I take up F4, F5 and F6 this semester. Law, Performance management and taxation. Law and taxation is killing me in a way.
Let's start 1 by 1. F4, Law...
F4, Corporate & Business Law
Mr.Kho, our F4 lecturer is great man. He is kind and friendly... a bit too friendly la. XD Never see him get agitated when the class gone wild and everyone chatting everywhere. LOLS!!! Not actually. Just a bit noisy. His english is just great. Or maybe it is just me... =.= i find problem catching up to him. He speak so fast sometimes and i do find problem with my vocabulary and understanding. But anyway, i will try to catch up to him. None the Less!!! Brush up on my english more. MUST!!!
F6, Taxation
Guess what happen here... Mdm Tan... Our beloved lecturer. I do find her strict. Really strict. There is no time to catch a breathe in her class. Lecture... exercise... Lecture... tutorial... lecture... test... then go home. No break... Got la... toilet break, 5 minutes. But i think it is good. Good for me. At least i don't have the time to talk. Besides, during lectures, she likes to ask questions... This is the part that makes me awe her. Not talking can't help. U need to look at her when she lecture or look at the screen. If u keep looking down or looking at the notes, she will sure penalize you and then keep on asking you questions. =.= Some sort of training... To be more confident... stress...
Anyway, the game has started. Do you want to quit? This is a question i ask myself. Of course NO! Is this what you want? This question will make me think long, and make me hanging half way in the sky... I don't really know. As a matter of fact, i had already come so far. I will not turn back! So, the only thing to do now is to hang on! How about getting serious and really cut off games totally? That may be a good way to achieve better results. It is worth a try.
Try your best Zechs!

Vacation!!!

Vacation, a nice word. Too bad. It isn't happening on me. My parents are going on a vacation to China. Oh dear... as the eldest son, i had my responsibility to take care of my little brother. He is already 13, take care? Like how? man ...
Ok... Let's start. The first day was still nice. I took them to the airport, go home. Then, i bring my bro to had dinner. First day was easy as it was a Saturday. Nothing much to do. "Luckily" too, my holiday is ending soon ... =.=''' I had my class starting on Wednesday.
Sunday, like usual, i went down to buy some food for myself and him... then at night, cook him dinner. Ok... Sunday through...
Monday... i take my bro to school. Of course, the school was not far away from home, but i was told to drive him to school. Not let him walk to school. So, i must drive him to school. 12 noon. Everyone knows, 12 noon traffic jam. might as well stuck with the jam, bring him to school, drive back home again. Took me 30 minutes you know? the school is like just 1 kilometer away and he refuses to walk to school. =.=''' Nevermind. Bear with it...
Tuesday, Same thing again...
Wednesday, i got class at night. Since now in degree, the school does not offer much classes in the daytime, so most of my class from nowadays onward will be at night. I took him to school, drive home. rest until 3 something, start driving to my school. 3 something. Why so early? reason is just simple, avoid traffic jam! =.=''' I hate traffic jam. Who don't? i went to school, have my class... oh boy, the lecturer was like ... strict. She was always asking questions. We must pay 100% attention as if she will be asking questions anytime. Was so tired after class... but still forced myself to walk to the nearest food stall to buy something for my bro. He hasn't eat as i didn't buy him dinner yet. It was already 9.30... reached home around 10. We had our dinner or should make it supper, then, i was so tired i went to bed like ... forgotten when.
Thursday, My friend came to my house. Nice. Too bad i need to do some laundry. So i just let them watch TV. LoLs. Then after i am done, i ask my friends to take my bro to school. LoLs... This sure helps alot. i don't have to drive in this "traffic jamness". After taking my bro to school, we went to have our lunch. Finally some rest. We have a little chit chat and then around 2pm, he takes me home. One of them follow as he had class that night, same as me. So... around 3+ we go to school. His home was near the school and i went to his home first as it was still early. Nice thing you know, i had my dinner at his place. Then after that, we went for our class. Same again, drag myself to the nearest food stall after class to buy food for my bro. Thursday over...
Finally, today... Friday. my parents will be home soon. I do find that it is hard to take care of others when you are even having problem taking care of yourself. LoLs... At least i feel tired. But that is a responsibility i must bear with. So.. i have no choice but to keep hanging on, the worse part is driving. I think if my bro is not around, maybe i don't have such burden. haha... he is my brother, how can i not care? Anyway, Let it be. Just a week to see if i am capable of taking of myself + my bro. People do grow. This, i believe, will be another lesson of survival, responsibility and independence for me. Good thing. Really good thing. At least i am happy i can learn. Chances are hard to come by.
There is a fact. One day, they will leave me. When that time comes, i will have to stand alone. This may be a nice training for me. As to stand strong even when u are alone. ^^
Ok now... I will have to stop here. Need to get myself up to pick up my bro and go get our dinner ready.

Mid Term Break~ Holidays ...

Wippee~ Holiday time...
Ya right... Should be full of excitement and joy when holiday comes. It is finally the time of relaxation and rest. WOoohoo~~ =.='''
But do u know? I don't actually feel this way. Just the opposite, i feel tired. Bored. Why my holiday turn out to be like this? Odd... Pissed off...
Lets begin...
Yay... Holiday! Holiday do provides rest to your body, your brain. Maybe not everyone, but to me... yes. U know what? i hardly use my brain during holidays. Besides, not much of exercise. =.="' This must be the reason of obesity i m having now. Hate it. The first few days of holidays were fun. My friends came took me out for like a whole day, we played. We went to Matang to pick up Daniel( a friend) since he don't have the transport down to Kuching. Then we went Dota + ing. Wow... really nice you know? it is like even when u lose, u feel happy. ^^ Nice game...
After that, we went to have our dinner. LoLs... Guess what, we went for a buffet. Oh My GOD! We ate like ... hahahaha... actually like having eating competition. It is quite fun actually. Do enjoy the time hanging out. We feel like stuffed animals after the dinner. Starting from 19xx till 21xx. Woo~ 2 hours in the restaurant.
Next, we went to a shoe shop. My friend Chris(ah Jin) wanted to buy a pair of slipper. =.=''' It is funny. Cause all of us are like so full and we walked so slow. He also had his time choosing his favorite. XD Took like 30 minutes to 1 hour jz looking for his shoe in the shop( not big too). Finally, he made his decision. Then then, we catch a movie. LoLs... It was like 11pm then. Watched The Incredible Hulk. Oh dear... i almost dozed off watching. I am not saying that the movie was boring. It was interesting. Magnificent. Problem is, i am sleepy. XD Anyway, i did made it to finish the movie. ^^ Nice. Didn't waste Rm10 for nothing.
After Movie is like ... 1am... so late le ? Actually is due to sleepiness... I urge them to go home. Yup. They agree. Think all are sleepy. Not only me. WAkAKAKA~ 1am is also late la. LoLs... So, we go home, then get to bed...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next day...
Ok... Here it goes... i woke up like around 12pm. Get myself clean up, brush n wash. Headache... oh dear... overslept. Yes... sleeping too much do gives headache. So... just bear with the headache, i turn on my computer to play my dear online game, Maplestory. Was aiming for a 4th Job, level 120 as i already reached level 108. But u know what happen to maple? WTF! The server is like shit. Lagginess. Ok lo... Failed to train, cannot reach 4th job. Nevermind... Play tomorrow, maybe will be better. So i off my comp, go watch TV. Like usual day when there is no class, i will spend my time reading newspapers, watch tv, read some books, gaming... so on and so for. Since i can't play this darn maple, i do other things lo...
Next day...
WTF!!! Maple still cannot play! Pissed... Friends also busy with their own business/things... so on and so for... so i don't really go find them.
Next day...
WTF!!! Maple still KNS! CANNOT PLAY! PISSED...
Next day again...
OH MY GOD! Maple still lag like shit... You know, only Malaysia server like that. I asked my Singaporean friends, they have no problem mapling. Fine... Now is special time for maple. The game is giving off special offers to players. But Malaysians don't seems to be able to benefit from it. As for the server lags, we are unable to play. . .
Next day... ok... enough already... Maple still can't play... almost 2 weeks of maple laginess... unable me to play maplestory during my holiday... Quitting? u think so? NO! do u know how hard, how much time i spend to make it to level 108? DAMN! but lucky for me... i do have some patience, manage to get a friend, to train me. i just stand there leeching exp. XD Unfair? i am also a bit unfair lo... not training but gaining exp. so i make it to level 109.. but ever since laginess, it is no fun playing maple lo.. so i also not going mapling much already.
What can i do now?
Read... yes. Read.. I clear my book shelves, looking for books i didn't manage to finish last time... Start reading ... yoooooo~ done it like in 1 week... (left the lord of the rings, lazy to read since the vocab was like so... hard. Some words don't even existed in the dictionary. =.=''')
Ok... Now finish reading... so... i on msn like everyday to find people to chat... Oh dear... U do get bored though. Everyone is busy when u r so free... It isn't nice to bother others.
What can i do? pissed... Ever get a holiday so pissed? with nothing to do? Really hope to start my class soon. If not... i am really going to rust.

A Night... A Day... An Afternoon...

It was like usual days, everyone will go to bed when they feel tired. So do i. I feel tired. I feel worn. I feel... lonely. Should be going into dreamland to find some people to play with, to chat with. That will be the best solution... But, I was unable to fall asleep, when my mind, my soul, my body are tired.
I choose to wake up. Sit up right on my bed, start having thoughts... What should i do now???
I wonder why am i still awake when everyone is sleeping soundly.
Why this is happening to me? I barely have the time to sleep, but this tiredness, should be giving me an urge to sleep right? Why is it the opposite? Nevermind. I stand up, walk out of the room, and get myself a bottle of water. I gulp the whole bottle empty, no worrying for toilet at later time... (why do i have to worry anyway? since i can't sleep right, i can go to the washroom anytime) then, i start reading *outdated* newspaper. LoL... 12 midnight, the news are just outdated. Still got some scrap value right? haha... Looking for the program news, see what is showing on TV.
Lucky, nowadays got EURO CUP to watch. WAKAKA! Won't bored to death...
I give myself some thoughts, exam is over, i should be feeling relieved. But why am i still like that? I even start talking to myself. I am tired. I don't want to be so... insane... ya right... insane... people who have split personality is not normal. And i don't want to be abnormal. Heck! Who wants to be abnormal???
Men, only have 2 types of worry. 1 is career/study, the other will be women. (heard of this almost like everyday)
WTF!!! My study... i do worry for my exam result... But that doesn't seems to be the most troubled matter. Women... =.='''
What about my girl???
I don't think there is any problem. I am running from the fact? or am i just thinking too much? She has been really cold lately. I feel... unsafe. I feel... fear. I feel lonely! What is lonely anyway... She is busy. She is really busy with her project, with her studies. She already told me, she is lately busy with her school work. So maybe will have littler time for me. Ya. That must be the reason. So i should not be worried. right? right? RIGHT? WTF!!! WHO CAN TELL ME!!! Friends... Who are trustable? Where are my tears? i am tired. Seems like my heart is running out of blood. My heart is missing and is cold when there are no blood circulation. Drifting...
Friends... I HATE THIS TOPIC!
Today... should be yesterday, i encounter a very peculiar question asked by a friend of mine. How to differentiate true friends and fake friends? I was stunned. I was struggling in this once ago. But i had forgotten how i came out from this confusion. I knew the importance of friends in one's life. But when you are used, how would you know? betrayal? what can you do?
I've learned of the way of forgiveness. Be grateful. Those who harm you, are giving you a lesson of life. Those who criticize you, are teaching you. In a way, you grow up. Grow up to be more matured. But humans are humans! I am also a human!!! I also have flesh and blood. I am not made of steel! I fear betrayal, I fear loneliness, I fear ... lost! I DO HAVE FEAR! I DO HAVE WORRIES! I AM NOT STEEL MADE! Please let me go... God... Let me go... stop teasing me... i wanted some rest. I am not blaming God for what is happening to me, but just, can all this stop for a second for me to breathe... where are all the people when i need one? Where? Even my body is resisting me... I feel like crying, but where are tears? Collapsed... ( still waiting for my tears to drop =.=''')
Imbalance of emotion... Must be imbalance of emotion. When was the last time i get angry and shout? i forget... when was the last time i do something insane? i forget... Take a deep breathe. It is time to let things go. The world looks more beautiful. Everything come around, will goes around( Justin timberlake's song also got such fact). Why feel sad or tired of it? Nothing is eternal... NOTHING. So do not put hope. Never put too much hope on anything. Hopeless! like one critic ever say, you are hopeless. Yes~ i will reply. I am hopeless. But i am not helpless. i will help myself out. i do not hope for any help from anyone. That makes me hope less. Right? ^^
Still got the mood for jokes? haha. I am me. I am still me. I am alright! Of course. Why care why worry when time will tell everything? Think your life span is too long ar? hahaha... See... talking to myself again... what to do? at least i am accompany + ing myself. I m helping myself. Like a hero in DOTA, RHASTA say: "I'll help you mon." "Don't worry, be happy. HaHaHa"

2nd~11st June Exam Days...

On the 2nd of June, the beginning of nightmares for students taking ACCA and CAT. I was also under pressure, afraid of the exam. Yet, i still fool around, playing games, having fun... I am crazy... in a way that people call me insane or "pro" for not studying and still looks so carefree. They never know how much stress i feel... I don't blame them. Cause i also don't want to look stressed. Don't one looks as if so weak when they tell one they are under great pressure just because of this little exam? HAHAHAHA! I don't care anyway... But i try to keep myself from stress.
2nd of June, my first day of exam. I was, i thought i had fully prepare myself for it. When i get the paper, i feel ... blanked. But anyway, i still mange to answer all the questions available. Leaving it blank are wastage. Don't you think? So... i keep writing, i keep calculating... Lucky for me. I completed it. My parents, showing their care, ask me how is the exam going. Of course, i told them that i am not doing so well. Truth what... Then... they say i was not trying hard. Play too MUCH! Heck! I was so tired of this. Ya. True. I play a lot. Cannot deny this fact. But, i am also stress too. I don't want to get left behind and fail the exam do i? Man... So... i do accept a critic as compliment for hard work ... =.= (insane is always an insane!)
I even have to sleep at my cousin's house for the exam crucial dates to look after those kids as their parents go traveling. Sad... I was unable to get much sleep there. And it is a need to woke up early in the morning to open the gates and off the lights. Since their house is huge... duh... run all about to do this do that... Nevermind. At least i had fun there. Haha. So... since i woke up quite early, might as well do some revision. Read bit by bit... but usually, a 30~ 1 hr of reading worn me out... So... i just left my textbook on the sofa and get my tired body to the bathroom. Wash and brush. It is the starting of games for the day. Play whole day... and at night, my parents came n took us all out for dinner. Nice...
So... at least, i get to study a bit in the morning. Hahaha...
10th June, another exam day
This day, was tax paper. Good thing! Tax was not that hard... for me. LoLs... So i had it on quite nice... done it in around 2 hours. Wakakaka! So i was quite happy with the paper and my performance on tax paper. Yeah! A well done! I had a great sleep that night knowing i can have a paper, passing for sure! ^^
11th June, final day...
Wah~ Paper 10. Finance paper. I was so confident in this. I read through the essays and calculation. Find that i can memorize everything... or maybe most of it... Yet, when i get the question paper... I WAS "DROWNED" by question marks! The questions, i can manage to answer all. But it is hard! Man! Complicated! Most of my friends were saying there is a possibility of failing too... Oh dear... I DON'T WANT TO FAIL! I CANNOT FACE THIS FAILURE! WTF!!!
Sad... Fear... Every hell of passiveness, Negativity came to me. That night was... With my friends. We went to have our dinner and had a few game of DOTA. Was not able to concentrate much. Win no feel, Lose also no feel. LOLS! so numb... So tired...

18th May Bowling Competition

A sunday long slumber was force to stop for the stupid bowling competition. I woke up 7 in the morning, get myself prepared and ready to get out for breakfast before the event. This event was organised by the school. Since it was organise by the school, my friends and i decide to take part... just for fun. LOLS. I don't even know why i join their insanity... Or m i just insane as well? hahaha... anyway... So it goes. My parents take me to breakfast. Then my friends came to the coffee shop to take me to there. Duh~ We went in quite late though... but also, we are not late. kekeke... Like what says, Better late than never... Or... we arrive just in time for action.
So... i was forced to be the leader of the team... it wasn't supposed to be me... =.="' damn those people. But, that is not important anyway. Hey, i never even touch a bowling ball before... how am i suppose to play??? Sure will embarassed myself on the field. oh well, so just play along.
So... 9~ time to start... as a leader, i will be the first to play in the team... OH~ by the way, the team was named (LPPL BOYZ) due to our... League of Players that are Proffesional Loser(also can say is lan pa pa lan boys la cause we really are newbies in this). Hey, we never play bowling before u know. It is like going to war empy-handed.
Ok... time to start... i took up that stupid ball, just let it roll to the 10 pins. wakakakakaka! At least my first shot didn't go into the drain(longkang). This is not really humiliating. So... after that was my friend's turn. Wow... although was the first time playing, he was lucky enough to get a strike... =.= was that luck or what... ok... let's continue... it is like, going on, bam bam boom boom... until my 3rd shot... i injured my tumb. =.=''' Yeah~ no more smooth bowling for me... ouch! It really hurt! So... my shots all become longkang cleaner shots. U know what that means right? haha... almost make my team become the worst players team. haha... lucky for me, one of my friend stil maintain it well. So my injury... 6~8 shots of cleaning the drain.... until then... i saw someone, who is also new to bowling, their way of throwing the ball... lols... so i followed... at least i still maintain to hit a few pins. No more 0~~ yeah~ haha!
SO... just like that la... didn't lose, didn't win... sad... no prize. At least, u know, there is a prize for the worse loser. Wakakaka! was hoping to at least get the prize. At least we can get something... lols... however, this event does not provide a prize for the worse loser. T_T sad...
so... just like that la... a whole morning wasted... my time of seeing my dream girl, my time of dream, my precious time of "hallucinating"~ =X
So~~~ that's all for that... afternoon is like usual... haih~

Tiring exams...

Again... exams. Today, there is a mock exam waiting for me. Later... Just a few hours left from now. But, i don't feel well. My tummy is playing tricks with me. Worse... i don't know why that i am feeling nervous. It is just a mock anyway. Not the real thing in June.
I didn't get any nice sleep last night. Although i went to bed at 11, a bad dream woke me 5 early in the morning. I can't remember what frightened me. But i just know it was sad and dreadful. Duh~ just a dream. Forget about it... That is what i tell myself. Anyway, i get over it. Woke up and get ready for school. Most tiring things came. Morning got class plus an exam tonight. This is killing me... A whole day staying in school.
This is some pressure... LOLS! thought i m stress free? hahahahaha! Seems to me that i am not after all... I am just worried about my performance in June. I had no reasons for myself to fail those exams. Such failure will bring me big sorrow and slow my progress down. Slowing down means slowing down my dream and slowing down my objectives... that comes to breaking my promise as well!!! I have no much time to waste on this small thing. Completing this is just the first step of getting into what i wanted. I do not care what is the cost, but that is a must to attain. So hopefully, i will not be slowed down by such miserable feelings. Pray to God... And work my way out.
Ever wonder why one gives oneself an objective to obtain?
I was one without dreams... Not that i am without one, my dream was broken. LOLS. Anyway, lets look for another one. So i gave myself another dream, another objective in my life. I do wonder why ones need an objective... so here it goes... one without a reason to live... is there any meaning in living? NO! right? and if you have no target, where will u go? No where... so what to do??? Must give myself a target lo~~~ I do mean it you know? So... i gave myself a target, an objective to acheive.
Now... sometimes... i asked myself... why am i taking accounting course? It is not like that was what i wanted to be... But this can relate to my dream though... hahaha... so just go with it then... Don't question so much. Life goes on. Move on~ (*Quoted from Rachel, her signature quote =x)
So... now... stop typing... get back to your revision boy... =.= i do hate this. But anyway, doing this for my future, is there any reason to quit? NOT AT ALL!!! wakakakaka! so... Wish Me Good Luck~ And all the best!!!

12 May... A day i can't forget...

You know what day is this? It is the 12 of May!!!
12th of May means a lot to me. Or should i say it is meaningful to me. Today is my brother's birthday. Of course, we celebrate his birthday like usual... every year this happens. LoL...
U know what else? 12th of May can also be a Mother Day!~ Mother's day...
What more? 12th of May can also be a Wesak Day! know what is that? it is a day of the buddhist. There are parade usually. haha...
Besides all these special day... It is also a very very special day to me. The day i broke up with my first ex... Guess what? 12th of May become a day i never forget... never can do... =.='''
Furthermore... my family was out traveling. On holiday to Penang... And i was alone at home. Sick some more. It took place in 2006. Haha... Such an event that is sad should be forgotten. Some ever told me this. But this date is too easy to remember... maybe it is due to my brother's birthday, so that makes me unable to forget this date... unless i got an accident and knock my head... lost partial of my memory... LoL... i do not hope for that to happen... wakakakka~ Anyway, that is 12th of May. *hope it was 29th Febuary* So only 4 years once. LoL... haha.
But, i don't care lah. Every year also got 12th of May. What can i do? just treat it like every normal day la... it is nothing also what... right? Duh~
After reading, feel that this is a waste of time typing eh... LOLS~ Get on with it. Life mah, sure got ups and downs la... Why stop here? hehe... so~ my life goes on... ... ...
Eh! Now got a really nice gf also mah. Why care what happen in the past? =P

Accountant Survival Race~

Woo~ What a nice day!! It was the 1st of May. I joined a game, held by MIA (Malaysia Institute of Accountant) It was like exploring and completing task. Although didn't win the race, but i m fulfill with the result. At least we finish the race and didn't give up.
Few days before 1st of May...
"Hey, CLK! wanna join in a game?" Daniel asked. I was blurred and don't know what was happening. But u know, ever since it is a game, it will be hard for me to turn it down. So i give a simple reply as to "bring it on~" Laugh Out Loud. Then he give me a very cute look saying, "RM10 please." My brain was coming up with "WTF!!! why need to pay?!!!" But ever since my friends are mostly joining the game, i just might as well join in to have fun. A team contains of maximum 5 people. A driver, a navigator and 3 members. Laugh Out Loud... Since i was last to know, i surely have no choice just being the 3rd member.
So the game commence at 8 in the morning. A total of 24 teams, compete to get first... So... When the clock struck 8, the navigator, Ting (this is how i call that friend of mine) came rushing down the stairs and instructed all of us(team mates) to put the game's cloth on. Laugh Out Loud... all the teams did the same... After getting double-layered, all teams are given the first clue to the first check point.
We quickly step into the car and get moving... lols... i still can remember the clue... Ting handed me the clue, and i read it out loud so everyone can help think it out... the clue goes like this...
Official Residence
~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~
Former Law & Order
Heck... first thing that came into my mind was... a court. How stupid of me... So we discussed and get ourselves to the city center where the old polis station lies. Obviously, we are going the wrong place. Then i hit jackpot! I say with pretty much confidence, "Hey guys~ will it be possible to be at the riverbank where our former polis camp is? Next to that place is a residence and the blue thing might be telling us about a river!!!" So we rushed to that place... Our beloved driver, Delon... park at a really far distance where the boat to cross the river is... so we had no choice but to run all the way to the jetty... i think is like 1 KM length... so... early in the morning run like crazy people. Luckily we got the right place! Yeah! So we take the boat across the river. We complete the task quite fast. Laugh Out Loud... should be saying very fast!~ in less than 15 seconds, the task is completed... (i need to praise myself abit.. i m the one who complete it. XD) Here comes task 2~
We rush back to the jetty, going back to where the car is... Man~ 1KM again! tiring... Anyway, when we are in, we quickly came to guess where clue 2 is leading us. hehe... All so clever.
Checkpoint 2
Kuching bridge is falling down,
falling down falling down,
Kuching bridge is falling down,
My fair lady.
Laugh Out Loud... so we came to a conclusion that this must be telling us an event that took place few years ago where a bridge goes unstable and collapsed. We make our way there, and leading. WOW! taking the envelope that contains checkpoint 3, we move on.
Checkpoint 3
3-01-02
RPR Matang
Heck... we need to travel some distance to matang. And where the heck is RPR matang?!!! So we are wondering... blurred... my friend, Phang make a call to his uncle that lives in matang... very well... we are now heading somewhere... But with the best of luck, we are getting to the wrong place... =.='''
"Sorry, please try again."
This was the sign in that particular flat Phang's uncle lead us to. So, out of clue, we drove back to pump petrol. We decide to deduct our 2 points for information.. so a phone call is made to the Marshal of the game. He told us where to go... Laugh Out Loud! it was even more further than we thought! Luckily we went to pump some petrol before moving on... Finding checkpoint 3 took us alomost 2 hours!!! Sadly, we lose alot in checkpoint 3. When we reached checkpoint 3, we are asked to solve a accounting statement... haha... that is simple job to us as we are accounting students! So in a few minutes, it is solved... we got our envelope for checkpoint 4, we moved on.
Checkpoint 4
A drawing
LoL... it is the most easiest. We knew where to go... and yeah~ we reached there quite fast... Laugh Out Loud... Forget to mention, we 5 people, was like insane shouting in the car! And more worse, whenever we meet some slow driver, we will start cursing people! wah~ so bad~
Ok OK~ checkpoint 4 require us to cook. =.=''' 5 male trying to cook... imagine how hilarious that will be... an egg given, 2 pieces of solid oil... and we need to cook the egg... best to be hard boiled... OH MY GOD!~ Lighting up the fire is taking us like... ok... forget about this part... it just end up in a mess anyway. Laugh Out Loud... got our marks deducted, we moved on to the final destination.
Checkpoint 5
Salang Talang Talang Matang
With a picture of a people fishing
This clue... we have no idea too... So we just ask the locals... Just nice... they know. They told us to go to telaga air... lols... so we just go... GO GO GO~!!!
ok... we are here. We are like the 19th team to reach. Heck... anyway, we made it... besides, we are at least faster than some teams and 2 of them are my friends' team. We help each other on the way, telling where and how to do the task. Anyway, we had a BBQ feast there. It is tiring, but fun. Haha... we took some photo there. At least this are some of the best memories i will never forget. ^^ really looking forward to the next year's event. We will get ourselves to improve!