A dream...

Today morning, i woke up in ... tears... =.='''
Why? Because i dream of her. So... odd... it was back in time... when in secondary school... but the situation is still the same as now... we was in the same class... she was just sitting a row next to me... with her friends... i wanted to look at her... but i was afraid to look at her if she is sad... but, i over heard, she is really angry... she is complaining to her friend that i break my promise... i don't wanted to... i am also very sad for this...
Since i feel very miserable sitting there... i changed class. But without notifying the teacher... during recess, i pack my bag and go to C class... ( i was in A class)... I downgrade myself... ... ... going to a class which is more like a weaker class... i still remember i said something very... childish... "i only do what i wanted to do!" He was speechless when i say this... i was so... sad and miserable after listening to what she said... because i feel sad too... i feel that i am useless... i cannot handle our relationship and my study at the same time... so... after a few minutes in class... i again packed my bag and run off the class. Suddenly feeling dizzy and totally without strength... Since there is always a small period to swap class... i walk away from school... =.=''' i am already not normal already... i NEVER DO SUCH A THING!!!! =.=''' i am ready feeling big disgrace and totally shameful of this act... I actually ran away from problems...
Then... while i was going off... she and her gang was following me... she asked her friend to get me a pack of tissue. @@
It was opened... and... feel a bit odd. It contains tissue of course, and a few rm5 and rm10 notes... suppose it was a total of rm 25 or 30... i don't understand what that means... but i was bad... i keep walking off... i never look back, i never stop... was giddy on the way and i do feel that i was not able to walk in straight line... =.='''
But... i was left alone... after i am out of the school compound... ... ...
Alone...
I just don't understand... what is that money for? is it that our relationship only worth this much??? or is it that you are still being caring, worried about me, asking me to go to a doctor? i feel sad though... no matter whichever is the answer... i feel sad...
Wake up in tears... i cannot forget what just happened... 12 noon now... i slept until 12 noon... it was just like the time during secondary study hours, on Friday, our class until around 12 noon...
... speechless...