I saw You...

Saturday... Today was suppose to be home immediately after school. But my dad called and tell me that i had to wait... And at them same time... Chris came to Kuching to find us for some FUN. So... i told my dad not to come fetch me as i will go home later.
We went to The Spring. A Mega-Mart. I was not thinking about anything else... and Daniel was so happy about buying himself a MP3. So, we followed. I was feeling alone when he was looking for the MP3 while i just look around... I saw... i saw someone who look alike her. Yes... but i am certain. i am wrong. Because there is difference. But that make me think of her... That reminds me how much i miss her... i really do... i am stupid. Very stupid to let go. But it was a good choice. I am no longer the one who was so competence. Now i am useless. Without any courage... filled with competency... It is now out of the topic for me. Even i look down on myself now. There is no future with me. So i had to let go... Brush myself up before i wanna go to her again...
Deep inside... i still wish... i still hope... i can see you... But just from afar. I don't want you to see me now in this stat... i am weak and useless now...
After Daniel got his MP3, we went to the cafeteria for lunch. I had a quick lunch... and Chris say he wants more... so we go to Sugarbun. =.='''
That time, i was still ok... very happy indeed... because the gang was so funny that i forget all my worries...
Until i saw you again...
This time... for real... it is you...
thank GOD... i really saw you... it is really you... you had become prettier. Yes... you did... the moment i saw you... there is an urge to go forward to say hi... but i dare not move... and dare not approach... i even hide... HIDE!
COWARD!!!
=.=''' i damn myself... i really damn myself at that moment... cause i lost the chance of talking to her. i really miss you... now i see you... i dare no go to you... my heart sink... it is already in the bottom of the sea... but... i was sad... sorrow... yet happy... the feelings is like so annoying... happy + sad... it make one crazy...
u left... you left... i thought i cannot see you again...
So... stop brooding over the emotions of happy + sad... i join in their childish and funny chat again. But the mood is no longer there... i was already some where else... my soul is lost...
Yes... soul is lost...
Something that i believe... Fate... Destiny...
i saw you... God give me what i want...
And... he gave me more...
you appear just in front of me... that time... i am... shocked... stunned... and... i don't know what to do... a feel so sorry... so so sorry... i don't know why...
but i feel happy... so so happy that i wanted to hug you. But that is impossible. i dare not do that anymore...
i am not me... not the me i am before... i am now weak... weaker than anything.......

But did manage to bring out the last few breathe of courage... attempted to talk to you. Since you had saw me... i need to talk. We said hi... and i was hoping to say more... but was always hiding. Me... running away! A short hi... and a simple good bye...
i don't hear her voice... because it was so noisy there... but i can feel her thoughts. i see her smile... ^^ i am happy to see that. yet i feel sad... because i m not the one anymore... i give this up myself... A good bye i didn't say... just wave my hand...
Then thats it... bye bye...
i saw you... and i left... thats it...
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