I hate my life!
But i won't blame God or anyone for whatever is happening...
I am happy!
Because everything happen is making me grow.
I am angry!
Because everyone that i care is forgetting me.
I am sad!
Because i feel it is my mistake that people i care is forgetting my existence.
I am distress!
Because i HATE MY LIFE!
Sleepless... for weeks. And every morning i wake up, i feel a slight headache. I feel nausea. Feel like throwing up. This thing has continued for like weeks. It all begin with the nightmares. Now... nightmare is gone but sleepless, insomnia is here. Why like that?
Joint pain is hitting me everyday. I am getting old...
Or is it just that my blood circulation is having problem?
Too many questions are playing in my head.
I always thought i am stronger than before. A lot more stronger. But no. I am still the same. Weak. Seems like i just healed myself from the injury i suffered years ago. I did not actually become stronger from it. Fear...
I still dreaded betrayal. Still worry about betrayal. My soul is still weak, unable to receive another blow of betrayal.
But i learned to trust. Because i had no choice. I have to keep trusting. Just be more careful every time i trust.
Because i want others to have trust in me. The law of nature is like this, i still believe equivalent trade.
Even the word "Believe" has a lie in the middle. So what is true?
It is torture...
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