Off Track

Have you ever feel tired of keeping on running in the track, aiming to achieve your goal?
Life is like a battle. This world is full of competitions. Anything can be taken to be competed against.
Recently, i was... competing against myself? Have you ever feel that, when you had always been able to finish the race to the end reaching the goal, when everything was running smoothly... you have always been winning... Even when you feel tired, there is always a voice there, telling you to hang in there... You will always be trying your best to reach it. Even if it tires you out, you will feel that it is worth it and every time, you get what you want from the effort you put in.
Feel this before?
I suppose everyone does... just that, sometimes, some don't. No matter how much hard work they put in, they get nothing. Pessimism. But i cannot deny this truth. Some people are just born to be this bad luck. It is the heart that keep them going, living on happily.
Have you ever feel that you got kicked out off track... where you always have been running smoothly and was like always the champ but end up losing everything in a game?
I feel so now. This feeling is all over... No matter how much i hate to compete, i still continue to run... why? Why did i continue even if i hate it? WHY? Because, i hate losing. Even in something that i dislike, i will still want to own it. Because i don't like to lose to others. This is a very bad personality that i own of which i really hate.
But, seems like i had lost it when i got dropped out of the race. Giving up? I think so... But i have been telling myself not to give up no matter what i do. Yes. Good Spirit. When you are going after something you don't have interest in, there is no energy that let you hang on. Just like you love fish but you are hunting for crab, is there any energy for you to continue to hunt for crab when none of it came? =.=''' C'mon...
I seems to be suffering from deep pressure lately. But no... that is not true. It is just a small conflict within me. When i finally know of my interest and i am hanging on to something that i have no interest in but keep hanging on just to show that i never give up, just to show that i am no weakling. BullShit! Rubbish! What thrash is this!
Every degree worth big buck. But if there is no LUCK, you will be just a human, working for small company, earning a small salary, just like everyone else do. What's the difference anyway? We all are humans. No matter what degree you take, if that is what you like, you will put your effort in it. Success. Is there anything to measure success? Is it measured with kilogram? Meters?? Give me a break. Luck... talking about luck... even someone who never study can earn big buck... Degree, Master, PhD... Bullshit~ It is just merely a piece of paper. Certificates... it is worthless. What worth most? Money~~~ Even if you carry a PhD in your hand and stay unemployed... You still go and EAT GRASS. Rubbish. Why do people nowadays treat this papers as gold... my god...
knowledge... this is what it counts. NOT THE PAPER! Some certs are even fake... =.=''' Fake certs... that person maybe a PhD, but without the knowledge of a PhD, still a rubbish.
But who even cares... It is still the status of life that everyone care. MONEY~ Who cares what PhD you are, how much you can make? This is the real question.
This is a very realistic world. Even i feel sick of it. Money...
money...
sick of it...