Determination

Since yesterday, 16th February 2009, after i saw my result, i collapse. Why? Simple. Because i failed all my papers i attempted. How can this happen? Reason is simple too. I didn't put in much effort to study. It is purely my own fault that they, The Examiners have the opportunity to fail me. My fault.
What can i do to make up to myself now?
What can i do? I was crying in my pillow yesterday. I can't sleep. I know, fact is a fact, nothing can change. I failed all my papers. I disappoint my parents, i disappoint my lecturer, i disappoint myself... what a shame... So what? It is the past. Can you go back in time and change it? NO! So why brooding over the past and stay down crying? Can cry help you pass? NO! So, after having the whole day of emo yesterday, today... i give myself a promise. I cannot change the past, but I CAN DECIDE MY FUTURE! So, today, i made a promise. Tonight, i will tell my parents about my failure. I will give myself restrictions. What type of restriction? Simple.
I will be penalize RM1 for every once i break the rule.

3 simple rules(weekdays)
1. I must wake up for breakfast every morning at 7 and start revision on 8am.
2. I cannot touch the TV, Computer until 10pm and must go to bed before 1230am.
3. I must spend at least 4 hours on the 3 subjects everyday.
3 simple rules(weekends)
1. Saturday is the only day for rest and do whatever i want but must sleep before 12am.
2. I must wake up 7am on Sunday and go play basketball or jog unless it rains.
3. I must do revision when i reach home and only allowed to touch the computer until 10pm and must go to bed before 1230am.
1 major rule
This June i will take 3 papers and must pass without failing one paper. Fail one, i will suspend myself from the computer and TV for 10 years.

Besides, i cut my hair bald to remind myself about what i do. My mistake, my fault... my stupid fault... my fault... There is no turning back now. I cannot forgive myself for failing this 2 papers either.
These rules will take effect starting 18th February 2009. This may seems cruel... but no pain no gain. This is real. My friends all at least pass 1 paper while i fail all. Such a disgrace...
End here. Anyone who visit and know of my rules, if you see me breaking any of these rules, please tell me too. Anyone who see this may penalize me if i break any of the rules above.
I am gonna print it out and stick it on the wall so every family members can see and keep an eye on me.