Mid Term Break~ Holidays ...

Wippee~ Holiday time...
Ya right... Should be full of excitement and joy when holiday comes. It is finally the time of relaxation and rest. WOoohoo~~ =.='''
But do u know? I don't actually feel this way. Just the opposite, i feel tired. Bored. Why my holiday turn out to be like this? Odd... Pissed off...
Lets begin...
Yay... Holiday! Holiday do provides rest to your body, your brain. Maybe not everyone, but to me... yes. U know what? i hardly use my brain during holidays. Besides, not much of exercise. =.="' This must be the reason of obesity i m having now. Hate it. The first few days of holidays were fun. My friends came took me out for like a whole day, we played. We went to Matang to pick up Daniel( a friend) since he don't have the transport down to Kuching. Then we went Dota + ing. Wow... really nice you know? it is like even when u lose, u feel happy. ^^ Nice game...
After that, we went to have our dinner. LoLs... Guess what, we went for a buffet. Oh My GOD! We ate like ... hahahaha... actually like having eating competition. It is quite fun actually. Do enjoy the time hanging out. We feel like stuffed animals after the dinner. Starting from 19xx till 21xx. Woo~ 2 hours in the restaurant.
Next, we went to a shoe shop. My friend Chris(ah Jin) wanted to buy a pair of slipper. =.=''' It is funny. Cause all of us are like so full and we walked so slow. He also had his time choosing his favorite. XD Took like 30 minutes to 1 hour jz looking for his shoe in the shop( not big too). Finally, he made his decision. Then then, we catch a movie. LoLs... It was like 11pm then. Watched The Incredible Hulk. Oh dear... i almost dozed off watching. I am not saying that the movie was boring. It was interesting. Magnificent. Problem is, i am sleepy. XD Anyway, i did made it to finish the movie. ^^ Nice. Didn't waste Rm10 for nothing.
After Movie is like ... 1am... so late le ? Actually is due to sleepiness... I urge them to go home. Yup. They agree. Think all are sleepy. Not only me. WAkAKAKA~ 1am is also late la. LoLs... So, we go home, then get to bed...

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Next day...
Ok... Here it goes... i woke up like around 12pm. Get myself clean up, brush n wash. Headache... oh dear... overslept. Yes... sleeping too much do gives headache. So... just bear with the headache, i turn on my computer to play my dear online game, Maplestory. Was aiming for a 4th Job, level 120 as i already reached level 108. But u know what happen to maple? WTF! The server is like shit. Lagginess. Ok lo... Failed to train, cannot reach 4th job. Nevermind... Play tomorrow, maybe will be better. So i off my comp, go watch TV. Like usual day when there is no class, i will spend my time reading newspapers, watch tv, read some books, gaming... so on and so for. Since i can't play this darn maple, i do other things lo...
Next day...
WTF!!! Maple still cannot play! Pissed... Friends also busy with their own business/things... so on and so for... so i don't really go find them.
Next day...
WTF!!! Maple still KNS! CANNOT PLAY! PISSED...
Next day again...
OH MY GOD! Maple still lag like shit... You know, only Malaysia server like that. I asked my Singaporean friends, they have no problem mapling. Fine... Now is special time for maple. The game is giving off special offers to players. But Malaysians don't seems to be able to benefit from it. As for the server lags, we are unable to play. . .
Next day... ok... enough already... Maple still can't play... almost 2 weeks of maple laginess... unable me to play maplestory during my holiday... Quitting? u think so? NO! do u know how hard, how much time i spend to make it to level 108? DAMN! but lucky for me... i do have some patience, manage to get a friend, to train me. i just stand there leeching exp. XD Unfair? i am also a bit unfair lo... not training but gaining exp. so i make it to level 109.. but ever since laginess, it is no fun playing maple lo.. so i also not going mapling much already.
What can i do now?
Read... yes. Read.. I clear my book shelves, looking for books i didn't manage to finish last time... Start reading ... yoooooo~ done it like in 1 week... (left the lord of the rings, lazy to read since the vocab was like so... hard. Some words don't even existed in the dictionary. =.=''')
Ok... Now finish reading... so... i on msn like everyday to find people to chat... Oh dear... U do get bored though. Everyone is busy when u r so free... It isn't nice to bother others.
What can i do? pissed... Ever get a holiday so pissed? with nothing to do? Really hope to start my class soon. If not... i am really going to rust.

A Night... A Day... An Afternoon...

It was like usual days, everyone will go to bed when they feel tired. So do i. I feel tired. I feel worn. I feel... lonely. Should be going into dreamland to find some people to play with, to chat with. That will be the best solution... But, I was unable to fall asleep, when my mind, my soul, my body are tired.
I choose to wake up. Sit up right on my bed, start having thoughts... What should i do now???
I wonder why am i still awake when everyone is sleeping soundly.
Why this is happening to me? I barely have the time to sleep, but this tiredness, should be giving me an urge to sleep right? Why is it the opposite? Nevermind. I stand up, walk out of the room, and get myself a bottle of water. I gulp the whole bottle empty, no worrying for toilet at later time... (why do i have to worry anyway? since i can't sleep right, i can go to the washroom anytime) then, i start reading *outdated* newspaper. LoL... 12 midnight, the news are just outdated. Still got some scrap value right? haha... Looking for the program news, see what is showing on TV.
Lucky, nowadays got EURO CUP to watch. WAKAKA! Won't bored to death...
I give myself some thoughts, exam is over, i should be feeling relieved. But why am i still like that? I even start talking to myself. I am tired. I don't want to be so... insane... ya right... insane... people who have split personality is not normal. And i don't want to be abnormal. Heck! Who wants to be abnormal???
Men, only have 2 types of worry. 1 is career/study, the other will be women. (heard of this almost like everyday)
WTF!!! My study... i do worry for my exam result... But that doesn't seems to be the most troubled matter. Women... =.='''
What about my girl???
I don't think there is any problem. I am running from the fact? or am i just thinking too much? She has been really cold lately. I feel... unsafe. I feel... fear. I feel lonely! What is lonely anyway... She is busy. She is really busy with her project, with her studies. She already told me, she is lately busy with her school work. So maybe will have littler time for me. Ya. That must be the reason. So i should not be worried. right? right? RIGHT? WTF!!! WHO CAN TELL ME!!! Friends... Who are trustable? Where are my tears? i am tired. Seems like my heart is running out of blood. My heart is missing and is cold when there are no blood circulation. Drifting...
Friends... I HATE THIS TOPIC!
Today... should be yesterday, i encounter a very peculiar question asked by a friend of mine. How to differentiate true friends and fake friends? I was stunned. I was struggling in this once ago. But i had forgotten how i came out from this confusion. I knew the importance of friends in one's life. But when you are used, how would you know? betrayal? what can you do?
I've learned of the way of forgiveness. Be grateful. Those who harm you, are giving you a lesson of life. Those who criticize you, are teaching you. In a way, you grow up. Grow up to be more matured. But humans are humans! I am also a human!!! I also have flesh and blood. I am not made of steel! I fear betrayal, I fear loneliness, I fear ... lost! I DO HAVE FEAR! I DO HAVE WORRIES! I AM NOT STEEL MADE! Please let me go... God... Let me go... stop teasing me... i wanted some rest. I am not blaming God for what is happening to me, but just, can all this stop for a second for me to breathe... where are all the people when i need one? Where? Even my body is resisting me... I feel like crying, but where are tears? Collapsed... ( still waiting for my tears to drop =.=''')
Imbalance of emotion... Must be imbalance of emotion. When was the last time i get angry and shout? i forget... when was the last time i do something insane? i forget... Take a deep breathe. It is time to let things go. The world looks more beautiful. Everything come around, will goes around( Justin timberlake's song also got such fact). Why feel sad or tired of it? Nothing is eternal... NOTHING. So do not put hope. Never put too much hope on anything. Hopeless! like one critic ever say, you are hopeless. Yes~ i will reply. I am hopeless. But i am not helpless. i will help myself out. i do not hope for any help from anyone. That makes me hope less. Right? ^^
Still got the mood for jokes? haha. I am me. I am still me. I am alright! Of course. Why care why worry when time will tell everything? Think your life span is too long ar? hahaha... See... talking to myself again... what to do? at least i am accompany + ing myself. I m helping myself. Like a hero in DOTA, RHASTA say: "I'll help you mon." "Don't worry, be happy. HaHaHa"

2nd~11st June Exam Days...

On the 2nd of June, the beginning of nightmares for students taking ACCA and CAT. I was also under pressure, afraid of the exam. Yet, i still fool around, playing games, having fun... I am crazy... in a way that people call me insane or "pro" for not studying and still looks so carefree. They never know how much stress i feel... I don't blame them. Cause i also don't want to look stressed. Don't one looks as if so weak when they tell one they are under great pressure just because of this little exam? HAHAHAHA! I don't care anyway... But i try to keep myself from stress.
2nd of June, my first day of exam. I was, i thought i had fully prepare myself for it. When i get the paper, i feel ... blanked. But anyway, i still mange to answer all the questions available. Leaving it blank are wastage. Don't you think? So... i keep writing, i keep calculating... Lucky for me. I completed it. My parents, showing their care, ask me how is the exam going. Of course, i told them that i am not doing so well. Truth what... Then... they say i was not trying hard. Play too MUCH! Heck! I was so tired of this. Ya. True. I play a lot. Cannot deny this fact. But, i am also stress too. I don't want to get left behind and fail the exam do i? Man... So... i do accept a critic as compliment for hard work ... =.= (insane is always an insane!)
I even have to sleep at my cousin's house for the exam crucial dates to look after those kids as their parents go traveling. Sad... I was unable to get much sleep there. And it is a need to woke up early in the morning to open the gates and off the lights. Since their house is huge... duh... run all about to do this do that... Nevermind. At least i had fun there. Haha. So... since i woke up quite early, might as well do some revision. Read bit by bit... but usually, a 30~ 1 hr of reading worn me out... So... i just left my textbook on the sofa and get my tired body to the bathroom. Wash and brush. It is the starting of games for the day. Play whole day... and at night, my parents came n took us all out for dinner. Nice...
So... at least, i get to study a bit in the morning. Hahaha...
10th June, another exam day
This day, was tax paper. Good thing! Tax was not that hard... for me. LoLs... So i had it on quite nice... done it in around 2 hours. Wakakaka! So i was quite happy with the paper and my performance on tax paper. Yeah! A well done! I had a great sleep that night knowing i can have a paper, passing for sure! ^^
11th June, final day...
Wah~ Paper 10. Finance paper. I was so confident in this. I read through the essays and calculation. Find that i can memorize everything... or maybe most of it... Yet, when i get the question paper... I WAS "DROWNED" by question marks! The questions, i can manage to answer all. But it is hard! Man! Complicated! Most of my friends were saying there is a possibility of failing too... Oh dear... I DON'T WANT TO FAIL! I CANNOT FACE THIS FAILURE! WTF!!!
Sad... Fear... Every hell of passiveness, Negativity came to me. That night was... With my friends. We went to have our dinner and had a few game of DOTA. Was not able to concentrate much. Win no feel, Lose also no feel. LOLS! so numb... So tired...