Saturday, August 22, 2009

What happen next?

Updates...
What's all this about. Firstly... exam. Few days ago, i was like... worried what is the outcome of the exam. In the end... I pass all 3 papers 1 go. Happy? =.= Of course i am. But happiness can be so short... so very short... 5 minutes? 10 minutes? =.=''' people celebrate whole day... perhaps whole week... me? I feel nothing. Wonder why? I just remember my promise to God. I swore to be a half vegetarian if i pass 3 papers 1 go this time. This is what i get. Thank God...
Of course, this is also my sacrifice. Something lost, something gain. Still remember the time without computers? 1 month some more? The misery... But human... When they achieve something, they tend to forget. Lately, i keep reminding myself. You come this far, because of how much u sacrifice. This is what you earn. If you don't keep it up, you will FAIL again. Pressure? hmm... somehow, i feel pressure. Who give me this pressure? Myself. LOL! Am i simply stupid or what?
Everyone... sees me... "CONGRATULATION! U r so LUCKY, so PRO pass 3 papers 1 go."
=.=''' Sianz... Of course, i can just say... thank you. Some of them, even think i am proud. They sees me as an enemy or what? Anyway, i don't care. I don't care. I am just happy being ME! Haih... if i really don't care, i won't feel such misery. Why do i have to change, to be so sensitive?
Shouting out LOUD~ I MISS THE OLD ME! I MISS MYSELF!
Who don't give a damn of what the damn hell is happening around me.
Who don't give a damn how others think of me.
Who is so damn self centered.
Who only wanted to win so badly that is willing to sacrifice nearly everything to achieve my goal.
Yes... Me, My Own, Myself!!!
But... fact is... i m not me anymore. =.=''' No longer me... because... i care. i care how others look at me.
Back to the exam result. Getting such result, i should be over the sky. But, i feel jz the opposite. I m in deeper pressure. What will be my next step? What should i do next? Life... is full of choices.
LoL. 1 super funny thing is that, i feel sad. even cried for no reason. Suppose there is a reason. Only i don't seems to know it. Or it is just that, i can release some steam? hmm...
What Happen Next?

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