24th September 2008

... Time has come... i had failed to stand to my promise.
On this date, we broke up.
But i think she will be more free this way, will not be tied up by me... and i also freed my own soul... and my worn out heart... Now, i can sealed my own heart, and throw it deep into the sea so i can focus absolutely on my study. I feel selfish... but i must do this... i am sorry... i have no idea how she feel now... maybe she is more happy this way... because i feel that she is not very happy with me... i am not a good man... she will get a better guy than me...
Maybe should also stop talking about her and also stop thinking about her already... Since already break up, i should not care so much anymore... LOLS!!!
So... now, it is time to focus. Lecturers has been giving me bad comment... F4 asked me to read and do more questions, F5 says i am not good enough now to go to exam, F6... more worse... she said i sure fail... Don't worry my lecturers, i am no normal being, i am insane... insane are not predictable. If i failed to reach your standards, i will end my life. I use my own life to promise this, i, Mr.Chung Lian Kiat, will take F4, F5, F6 exam in December 2008 none the less. If i fall below par even until November, i will risk my own gaming hours and 2 hours of sleep for further improvements. Please do not tempt me to become insane. Because i will do anything, and i really mean ANYTHING just to reach my goal...

Again... another night without any sms... i am really tired... i am really hurt... it is already 2.30 in the morning and i am still wide awake... I need to make things right... sadness will haunt me until we make things clear... It is really tiring... really tiring...
If this keeps on... i will be destroyed... yes... leave me alone...
Leave me Alone...
I am already Alone...
... Stop hurting me anymore ...
My kingdom has become ripped with sorrow... Despair...

Guess who's here?
The Immortal Peacecraft King is here! =.='''
Ever wonder why i locate the "immortal" word in front of my name? No idea huh? Haha... Suppose no one will know. Then... Let me tell you a story of a boy. Who is insane... Who is unsound...
It started one day, when the sky turn dark and he was alone at home. Alone at home... He had no people around him... Solitude binds him. As his largest fear is to be left behind, he feel like he fall into absolute darkness. Without hope... Where is everybody when i need them? Where???
Odd thing... His tear never came out... He feel sad... yet not sad... he feel... i wonder if he even feel... Yes. He do feel. What that makes him without tears, maybe caused by his past injury. He swore never to drop any tears for others ever again. =.='''
SO... This is a promise... that now become a curse to him... bounded by remorseless heart, yet... may pity the weak and still understand morale. Odd thing... This unsaid sadness had bring him to another level of humanity. Humanity? @@
Immortal does not has humanity... anyway... This only come, when the rain pour down heavily... his heart sank... Its time to let go of his heart.
But yet... He is heartless... How to let go when do not have one?
How?
So... This terror haunted him... days and days... nights and nights... he become more and more evil day by day. Solitude binds him... making him more chaotic and short-tempered.
I BEAR NOT THE SADNESS OF SOLITUDE CAUSE THEY ARE WITHIN ME!
This guy is insane... He had choose... solitude. Wonder why... So here comes immortality. Immortality cannot be achieved by any human... Of course... not so true... But... i will make it real. But i do not choose to live... i choose immortal death! Clearly said again... IMMORTAL DEATH! understand?
I do wonder where will i go to when i die... i really do... Christian will say... go to heaven. Other religion has their own heaven... Do you believe? I have no idea... Seeing is believing... this is more real to me. LOLS!!! anyway... i do believe... After life. . .
Anyway... Since i wanted immortal death... i don't wanted to exist at all... then, how can this be achieved? No one tell me this... =.='''
Supposed no religion can tell me this... NO ONE CAN! BECAUSE NO ONE HAD KNOWN OF IMMORTAL DEATH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
U know... human is really selfish. They wanted to exist... wanted to let people know they are alive. At least, they wanted to know they are alive. LOLS!!! This feeling of existing give them enthusiasm to keep on surviving. This is what makes their survival instinct. =.='''
People say those who can survive long is because they have great survival instinct... i say... NO! They are selfish people who wanted their life. =.=''' Since life is a gift from God, of course you must treasure it...
Give you a scenario...
God created man, man gifted with life, man died, man go to heaven...
something missing~~~ God created man, man live, given a heart, feel all the pain n happiness that is forever not forever(short and mortal), tortured by sickness, tortured by wrath of Nature, tortured by death itself... then bring us to heaven and become angel... =.='''
Eh... Why need the process of man!!? WHY!!!? purposely to see human feel the pain? Are They MAD?!!! Why don't just create angels? =.=''' Create man do what? perform movie give YOU see ar? DAMN!!! Blaming God? I am not blaming the Almighty... i am just complaining... telling HIM to stop create more Man to suffer. =.='''
Mortals~ argh~ They are more insane than i am. Why do you want to exist anyway? Who is the real idiot, mortals? WHO? go to heaven, then again, how you know when u in heaven you will be without worries? =.=''' Stupid LIFE! STUPID earth.. Everything STUPID~
Wah~ who say~~~ look at the bright side... everything happen must be good... Everything happen must got reason... Why want to happen anyway... Nothing happen... more better. XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX... (sorry, it is censored)
Anyway... lets stop the crap... get on with it. =.='''

i remember i read an article~
It was a grandma's story. Her view towards life really amaze me. Spectacular!!! Marvelous!!!
What i can't forget is...
Do not reminisce what is sad when nightfall, cause it will only make things worst.
Let the sunshine bring you a new day.
Eat what you grow, wear what you affort, that makes life more meaningful.
...
Meaningful eh? Haahaha!!! Lets call it a night then... It is already 2 in the morning. =.='''

Something Stupid i done! LOLS!!! Try it~

What Zechschungliankiat Means

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Parting...

Hello again my Kingdom. I don't come here only when i feel sad, i come here also when i feel happy... i come... to share my happiness... and to voice out what i dare not say... LoLS... some type of life. =.='''
Parting... Why this title? any idea why?
Let me say it out ba... It is... my relationship with my dear... oh boy... i feel that we are even further apart now... should i work harder on the relationship or should i give up? I don't feel like giving up... because i can't bear with it... i can't lost her. :'-(
I can't imagine also my life without her... although... she is now like... not around me already... haih... So bek chek...
Why do Love exist? =.='''
Maybe... i am thinking too much again. Let don't think too much ba... Let time decide upon my fate. i believe God has done everything. My fate, my destiny, my life... Since it is fated =.= why care? live happily lo... don care what happen, even if i am to die tomorrow, let it be happy until the last breathe. . .
=.='''
sounds like i am going to die soon.... LOLS!!!
anyway, make it more simple... happy also 1 day... not happy also 1 day... happy also breathe, not happy also breathe... happy also eat, not happy also eat... now tummy a bit pain... don't know why... =.='''
Don't care la... Let it be. Wake up in the morning sure ok liaw. XD
Zechs! Wake up! I need you now. You had slept long enough. Danville should go back to his tomb now, Luke will be back to his gate and X is taking over the control here. =.=''' so hate...
X X go away, don't come close me any day... SHOOEEEE~~~~~~~~~~
LoLs... talking to myself again... Some people say, it is a type of way to release stress. This may be the way for me. hahaha! Life is always so peculiar. No matter you like it or not, you also have to go through it. Zechs! JIAYOU LO!

Miss Me now or Miss me Not?

Hello Peacecraft Kingdom... The King is back again... It has been some time since i left this place. For a moment, i think i know everything... for real... i know nothing. Do you know what happen after that day? When is that day??? Suppose to be 1st of September... I am being childish enough... lack of sleep every night because of missing her. And you know what i did? i really feel regret... i hacked into her friendster profile. I saw her message box... Can't resist to take a look inside... And... sad... even more sad... i saw many things that i do not hope to see... the outside looks clear but the inside break me even more... I feel... Do not even know what to feel then...
But you know? i still dare not ask her... Because i fear i might loss her... For a second thought... i maybe already lost her, yet, i still want to keep it. Such a damn fool. So how? What to do... just take it lo... Maybe they just chat chat only ma... No big deal one. Don't have to feel bad for it. WAKAKAKA!!!
Ok... Maybe should switch a bit of mind set... I should think more positive. Anyway, i had tried my best... even i sometimes feels that i am not a good man.
So... cannot do anything le... Let her decide ba... She will dump me when she wants to. I just do my best. What else can i do? Who asked me to love her more than myself? >.<'''
Miss me now? or miss me not? I never asked... i never know... i can always pretend right? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pretend to know she miss me. So i can feel happy.
So why feel sad? Get on with my normal life, live it nicely... she will feel sad also if she knows i can't sleep well, i can't eat well. ^^
hehe... happy happy...

Happy?

Today exam... She also today exam... what a coincidence...
You know, i got an exam today... Guess what am i doing yesterday... Going for F4(Law) and then play games after that... no study... Where got people like that one... no need study... exam liaw still don't want to study...
But i know what am i doing... So... morning wake up a bit blur blur. But did manage to focus on the papers. F5(Performance Management) after a fail game of GG Dota. KNS one. The host disconnect. No choice lo... What to do...
I read like, just 10 minutes, then my mum called... Are you ready? =.=''' Then i realised, it is already 11am. OMG!!! i sleep so long! Wasted so many time. @@
So, i quickly go brush and wash... Prepare to go to school. But, my bro just came back la... Need to wait him also... so i continue to read some more... i suppose i finish reading chapter one only. Life Cycle Costing... =.='''
But already time to go...
So how? Abandon liaw lo... Go eat then go school liaw lo... Reach school at around 1pm. Thought can study some more. But, so far apart from what i think, all friends are gathered in MIT lab. =.=''' Do what there? Playing some stupid flash game. As a gamer, i just can't resist the seduction of the game. LOLS!!!
As a result... stuck there watching them play game liaw. So pro all. They also didn't study. =.='''
130pm, go into class. Exam starts right away. Then how? i find that the questions are quite simple. So i attempt the questions lo. So bad! Essay questions took like more than 50%. @@
After the first question(Calculation), satisfied, as i can do it... starts with the essay question. LOLS... just answering one took me an hour. =.='''
So tired after 1 question. Lucky only 4 questions in total. So, i did finished 2 questions up til now. Approaximately 1.5 question. LOLS. Cause the second question... the other half i don't know how to answer... =.='''
So i skip d lo... 4pm already. Not enough time!!! got 2 more question!!! Die lo!!! How?
3rd question... Essay again... =.=''' SKIP!
4th. Haha... calculation. So happy. I try it... and manage to answer it. LoLs... didn't even think much. Just do it. Wahaha. I can do it. Got the answer... and tada... 5pm. a total of 3 questions i had answered... to be more accurate, i answer approaximately 2.5 questions only. =.='''
and what happen... Guess what... i feel happy @@
Cause i know how to do... LOLS!!!
Reach home... had my dinner... feel something fishy about the exam just now... So i refer back to the notes and exercise given by the lecturer... =.='''
SHOCKED til death...
...
...
...
I had done wrong the last question. =.=''' still so happy some more... Should be throughput accounting method... i use linear programming method... =.='''
Die lo...
Do wrong...
Sure fail. LOLS!!! Simple equation. Please try to do it.
(2.5 questions - 1 question = ? ) =.='''
And each question worth 25 marks. Mostly i can get how many marks?
The passing mark is 50%.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy? Very happy lo~
Do wrong still there so happy. =.=''' This guy is insane. . .