Confrontation to Freedom

A decision i made. Brings me freedom for mental suffering. But again, it may lead to a larger cage. Pursuing Freedom is a never ending journey. As we are all under God's rule, we have no Freedom. Freedom only comes when we leave his rule and never live nor dies. That is eternal freedom.

I put myself together, walk up to my boss, submitted my resignation. This is the first relief.
I confronted him, tell him why i leave and with strong reasons, i get my revenge for being unfairly treated by him. This is the second relief.
I got a better job with better pay with better benefits. This is the third relief.
I was praised and treasured by my senior and my future boss of my good communication and presentation together with a job well done. this is the forth relief.

Finally for so many years of suffering from ACCA, i get some recognition. This is what makes life worth fighting for. It is not about praise. It is about recognition! No wonder i don't feel my existence. Because existence only comes when people recognize your existence! GOOD LUCK with the Future!

Back to Twilight

Hi… It’s me again. Thanks to the movie New Shaolin, CLK has been revitalized. The phrase “随缘一世，一世随缘，这样才自在” woke CLK from his insanity.
But it seems to be that the power of negativity and grudge that he holds is so deep that the resurrection does not last. It was just last night when he was resurrected. But a night later, he was discouraged, falling back into the dark again. Perhaps it was due to the death of Zechs, leading to the confused body to be led by no one. Tired again…
CLK is tired… fed up… once again feel sick of this sarcastic world, filled with sorrow and despair. PRAYING for his death! Life indeed sucks!

The Death of Peacecraft Kingdom Prince

Pity to say, due to uncontrolled frenzy of the dark side, Zechs has finally lost himself and gone insane due to inability to exercise sufficient rest while looking over CLK. It's sad to lost him. May he rest in Peace.
Luke & Danville will be on duty. Be warn that they are 2 different person. You may witness a mood swing anytime, that means a swap between them.
CLK! PLEASE PIECE YOURSELF TOGETHER! WE NEED YOU!

Perception

Someone once told me that life is a gift. As time pass by, this phrase did not prove itself. Time is a very scary thing. Everyone is given 24 hours a day, but is it really 24 hours? Not quite the truth. Time to sleep, time spent day dreaming, time is wasted. No one is actually able to full utilize the 24 hours given.

Besides, worst thing always happen at the worse timing. When things do not go your way, more things will follow. Therefore, leaving you with nothing left. This is a natural phenomenon that no human can ever deny. However, acceptance is the key. When things do not go as you wish, you may just choose to accept the direction. Well, since no choice is given, you cannot do anything about it. Why not just accept it with open heart?

As people age, they tend to think more, worry more. People are getting more and more experience as time flies by. They are given the knowledge of survival as well as the wisdom to differ right and wrong. Talking about right and wrong, this again is a topic that is arguable. Perception is the word to describe everything about right and wrong of this world. What is right? What is wrong? Does one plus one definitely equal to two? The answer is NO! Facts are what people believe it to be real and are somehow proven to be real. Prove? What is proof when you force yourself not to believe it to be real? Let’s discuss about the Robin Hood case. In old England, there is a thief, named Robin Hood, he steals from the rich to help the poor. Is this right or wrong? In the face of law, he may be wrong. In the face of Justice, he is wrong as well? Perception.

Life is a gift, gift that you should treasure. Yes! Indeed. Life is a gift, a gift that can be compared to a ticket to experience the delicious gourmet of the great cook. I suppose you can guess who does the great cook I refers to. Spices of life are the things that makes people age. Not time. The more you experience, the older you become. Some may be young but the taste of life is so clear that they taste it already!

Fairness is a topic that can simply be arguable. Some people claims that fairness does not exist in this world. Some people believe it does. Personally, I believe in the natural law of Equivalent Trade. You give what you take. There is no free meal in the world. Some people may be “lucky”, they spend little time to achieve what they wanted. Some may need to work hard, spend more time on it. But do they know that the challenges and set backs they receive during the course to accomplish their aim is actually a very valuable experience to them? This is something those “lucky” one do not experience. When things do not go their way, they just trip and fall. They may just stop and cry there while you, yes, YOU! Who taste defeat and pain of falling, stands up directly, and get on with the challenges ahead. Is not this something u gain that they do not gain in the course of achieving your target? FAILURE is a great teacher. Success is bad lecturer. Same tricks do not work twice now.

Conclusion… life SUCKs!!! No matter how it goes, how it ends, how it begins, it is just some extra stuff. When something exist, something need to feel the happiness, as well as sadness. This is the balance of nature. Everything comes. When non existence, there is no such things as worry, as well as happiness. SO? LIFE INDEED SUCKS!

Tormented Soul of the Archer

As a sagitarius, i enjoy freedom. Perhaps i should put it this way. Freedom to do anything. But of course, the most important thing is the freedom of soul.
Currently, there is a problem... caged within as i am... what hurt most is the pain of caged with hatred towards everything that's caged within with. The pain... is... incomparable. Of such that makes people insane. I can sense that my personality is at it verge of breaking down. Keeping him sane and alive, is a trouble. Indeed, i am also suffering from his negative thoughts and scream of pain every day. Tears had ran dry together with unheard grudge of life. Living with such grudge will bring insanity and impurity of the soul. He will definitely be haunted for life with the grudge he hold inside. It pitiful to see... yes... it is really sad to see... When sadness turns to depression, when hope no longer exist, where life is just a misery... Things will turn bad...
I dearly hope that he will be better soon... Rest assume, tiredness had already made my power weak to keep the dark side of me caged... anger and rage are at the verge of exploding. It will not be an easy way to keep it down at times of weakness.
Hopefully, things will turn well. Yes... HOPE.
Zechs is tired...
CLK is insane...
And that leave the rest to keep this body alive...
Good luck!

2011 ... is 2012 for real?

YES~ 2011 is finally here. Just can't wait for 2012 to come. But who cares... it might be just rumors and craps that has no supporting facts and calculations. But personally, i hope that it is real. LOL!!! Satanic as i am, i fear my own existence even more everyday. Every time i saw a building, i will think, jumping down from this height, what will happen. I do feel that i am almost there in, nearly there to visiting hell. Hahaha~ Satan is coming for me. Hades is coming for me.
Anyway, fear of death is there. It is not easy to commit suicide. There is a large need of COURAGE. Don't think dying is easy. Everytime thinking about methods of suicide, there is a fear of PAIN~ inflicting pain to people around you... and for what??? Consequences of your Death. Please... Death is just running away from problems. But what is it all about life that makes people keep hanging there, suffering to survive? I don't get it... Earning more money to spend? In the end, everyone dies. Even the richest man dies in time to come. Human are just pathetic creations, created merely for entertainment of the creator. It is very painful to know this truth. People say, human exist for a purpose. Helping the poor? Curing the sick? Why don't just kill them? Simple and easiest way to relief their pain and suffering. Show me the meaning of LIFE!

Random

i'm turning 21 soon. but it feels like i have been through half of my life. Somehow, it maybe true. If i died on 42, i really live half my life already! haha. So true that it is unbelievable. But anyway, life is like a roller-coaster ride. I wonder... last night, i was unable to sleep. my memory started to play.
Someone said, think about your childhood memory. happy one. I tried... and i feel very disappointed. It was only a 5 minutes "movie clip". Maybe less. what i am most disappointed about is that my childhood memory with my parents don't even worth 1 minute. How sarcastic can that be?
But the truth is... there are people out there that have worse experience than me...
It was today, that i feel my life is a dream. So dreamy that i don't even know if i am awake or i am asleep. Wondering... when i was taking my mock exam, it feels like a dream that i told myself to wake up. So funny yet scary... Even death came to my mind that i m about to kill myself. LOL! What a great dream. Still, it's real. I am sure that it is real. I am not in a dream. If i ever attempt to kill myself, i won't wake up. I will ended up DEAD! It's not a dream. It real!!!